Torn

Haven't posted in a while.
Guess I've taken it for granted having 24/7 access at college. Doesn't seem to be time at home when we're all fighting for a turn!

Haven't even been to the forum. That used to be one of life's priorities for me. Whenever I did anything I had to go online to see if Paul or Mark or someone had messaged me. Like a lifeline almost. A contact with people, outside of my family, who thought I was ok and who I knew, although sometimes doubted, cared for me.

As I have come to have a more secure opinion of myself through God, that need and desire seems to have faded. I still eagerly check my inbox for messages from people. Although, I think I need to send more to my friends before I can expect stuff back!

I very much enjoyed Fridays last night. Not for the content, although I've nothing but positive about it, and what I saw of it looked fab. But it was the sense of belonging. As soon as I stepped through the door it felt like my teritory. A place and space I have missed. I enjoyed commanding/encouraging everyone to get out of the pews and to join everyone else. I enjoyed running around helping out. I enjoyed sneaking in to being part of the team. It was so great to see everyone.

Maybe it's just because I haven't found that community of people in York yet, but I just so want to be back with this community.

Oh and btw, we forumites are planning to take over. One day, in years to come, we are going to control NYFC. That's both an exciting and inspirational thought. A challenge. I don't mind if we don't make it though. It's a goal to aspire to, a goal in which I believe the journey of self discovery and development for us all is much more important. And for us to seek to be closer to God.

Will blog about my week on placement at some point.

Easter blessings to you all.