Yesterday I met with my academic tutor and the head of BA Counselling Studies in preparation for my return to that part of my degree. Four years ago I was heading into my final year at university, apprehensive of where I would lead to and unaware of the rocky road ahead.
Today I was looking at my posts from that September, and still high from the summer's Christian festivals I posted about wanting to stand as a true woman of God. So often when we're at these events we can get caught up in the easy bubble they are, surrounded by thousands of other Christians, and we find it easy to rededicate our lives to God without thought of the consequences. I'm not saying that this is either positive or negative, just simply an observance.
In my mind at the time, I was giving my future to God AFTER my degree and perhaps this closed minded approach is partly what caused the change of plans that year to be so upsetting. In short, my tired body and mind was not prepared for this last year of uni and so it gave up on me. After two hard years of recovery I made it back to uni part time and gradually got stronger. Another two years later and a diagnosis of CFS/ME that has enabled things to make sense, I am back to where I left off. And so it approaches... my final year at university.
I have learnt to not take my relationship with God, nor what I say to Him, nor my life lightly! Who knows what is around the next corner, but I like to think that I am better prepared for it than I was four years ago.
