... or make hiverty posturee as I said this morning in my tired state!
Just got back from student volunteering conference. We talked a bit about the make povery history stuff and I discovered that my college is doing nothing about it. So I figured maybe I could start something.
Just wondering if anyone knows much about what I could do at uni? Or where I can find out more info about stuff etc.?
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Church
Church - an interesting thing.
Today I checked out a new church. Elim Pentecostal. Last week I didn't go to church in the morning and felt so much better because of it. I figured that something was wrong there. Each week I've been going to church and getting more and more frustrated and disatisfied with the lack of friendliness and lack of challenging teaching. The church is too big for me - 500+ is a lot of people. People go there to feel 'comfortable' and so that's what the church gives them. I've been coming away feeling so depressed with it all and it felt good to not have that weight on my shoulders last week.
I've become disatisfied with the small group too because the general attitude is 'we're too cool to do any of what has been set for us to do - in fact lets not do anything'. This is quite disturbing since they're all quite a bit older than me and the leader is one of the curates.
I'm starting to get the feeling that things that could be better in the church are just blamed on the fact that it's a big church - so nothing is done about it.
Elim this morning was good. I went with some friends who are also disatisfied with the church they're going to. We were welcomed as we went in by a number of people which was cool. Given a free magazine (glossy in colour) about the church, shown where to go and where to get drinks. The church is a cafe style which is nice and informal with somewhere to lean on when you want to take notes during the sermon. Met with God in the worship which was cool, but the band could have done with a few more practices especially in the art of listening to each other and paying attention to the leader! Was quite amusing.
Unfortunately it wasn't a normal Sunday as it was the leader's 25th anniversary in ministry, so we had a visiting speaker who had to cut his sermon into 15mins. Said some good stuff about trusting God though. I liked the way there were plenty of opportunities to talk to the people on your table, and also a break where you could go and get a drink and talk to people - one guy came over and welcomed us and we had a good chat. They even seemed to be well connected into current affairs - especially in the world and we prayed about churches they had links to in Paris who are in court fighting for the right to worship in their building. We prayed about the threat on our freedom of speech in Britain too.
So all in all I've liked what I've seen so far - will try it again.
The only things I didn't like were a) the fact that it was in a school - just not used to it I guess. I like having a central building. Although it does mean that more of the ministry can be done in homes and pubs etc. 'Coming of going, going of coming' etc. b) the fact it took me 45mins to walk there and c) the number of times we sang the same song! lol.
Was going to church tonight to 'visions' a multimedia service done by the church I was going to. It's too cold to go out though! There is snow on the ground! Only heard negative about it so far - but that's from the people I would expect not to like it.
Think I'm gonna have to spend some time with the big guy. Please pray about this for me - cheers.
Today I checked out a new church. Elim Pentecostal. Last week I didn't go to church in the morning and felt so much better because of it. I figured that something was wrong there. Each week I've been going to church and getting more and more frustrated and disatisfied with the lack of friendliness and lack of challenging teaching. The church is too big for me - 500+ is a lot of people. People go there to feel 'comfortable' and so that's what the church gives them. I've been coming away feeling so depressed with it all and it felt good to not have that weight on my shoulders last week.
I've become disatisfied with the small group too because the general attitude is 'we're too cool to do any of what has been set for us to do - in fact lets not do anything'. This is quite disturbing since they're all quite a bit older than me and the leader is one of the curates.
I'm starting to get the feeling that things that could be better in the church are just blamed on the fact that it's a big church - so nothing is done about it.
Elim this morning was good. I went with some friends who are also disatisfied with the church they're going to. We were welcomed as we went in by a number of people which was cool. Given a free magazine (glossy in colour) about the church, shown where to go and where to get drinks. The church is a cafe style which is nice and informal with somewhere to lean on when you want to take notes during the sermon. Met with God in the worship which was cool, but the band could have done with a few more practices especially in the art of listening to each other and paying attention to the leader! Was quite amusing.
Unfortunately it wasn't a normal Sunday as it was the leader's 25th anniversary in ministry, so we had a visiting speaker who had to cut his sermon into 15mins. Said some good stuff about trusting God though. I liked the way there were plenty of opportunities to talk to the people on your table, and also a break where you could go and get a drink and talk to people - one guy came over and welcomed us and we had a good chat. They even seemed to be well connected into current affairs - especially in the world and we prayed about churches they had links to in Paris who are in court fighting for the right to worship in their building. We prayed about the threat on our freedom of speech in Britain too.
So all in all I've liked what I've seen so far - will try it again.
The only things I didn't like were a) the fact that it was in a school - just not used to it I guess. I like having a central building. Although it does mean that more of the ministry can be done in homes and pubs etc. 'Coming of going, going of coming' etc. b) the fact it took me 45mins to walk there and c) the number of times we sang the same song! lol.
Was going to church tonight to 'visions' a multimedia service done by the church I was going to. It's too cold to go out though! There is snow on the ground! Only heard negative about it so far - but that's from the people I would expect not to like it.
Think I'm gonna have to spend some time with the big guy. Please pray about this for me - cheers.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Quizzes
He he - found this on a forum members blog, but I the tag doesn't work properly so I've just copied it out:
H Honest
E Entertaining
L Loving
E Elitist
N Naive
S Sexy
P Powerful
A Appreciative
R Refreshing
K Keen
L Lucky
E Extreme
S Silky
Ha ha - I like these too but I can't make it work properly either
How to make a Helen:
1 part intelligence
1 part humour
1 part energy
Add to the cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add lustfulness to taste. Do not overindulge!
How to make a sparkles:
5 parts friendliness
1 part courage
3 parts beauty
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Serve with a slice of curiosity and a pinch of salt. Yum!
If you want to have a go, go to www.go-quiz.com
H Honest
E Entertaining
L Loving
E Elitist
N Naive
S Sexy
P Powerful
A Appreciative
R Refreshing
K Keen
L Lucky
E Extreme
S Silky
Ha ha - I like these too but I can't make it work properly either
How to make a Helen:
1 part intelligence
1 part humour
1 part energy
Add to the cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add lustfulness to taste. Do not overindulge!
How to make a sparkles:
5 parts friendliness
1 part courage
3 parts beauty
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Serve with a slice of curiosity and a pinch of salt. Yum!
If you want to have a go, go to www.go-quiz.com
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Experiential Group
Today I had my first experiential group. I missed the last one due to being ill, so I was both excited and apprehensive - especially as I'd heard reports of people crying last time.
It was good though. I enjoyed it. I think that they're going to be very insightful. At the moment we're starting off with an exercise each session to ease us into it. Today we had to think of one strength and share it with the group. We were then challenged by the group to voice what the positives and negatives about the strength.
I sat there getting more and more frustrated as my mind just went blank and I couldn't think of a strength. I know I have strengths. I've seen them! I've written them on application forms, and I've discussed them with people - but I just couldn't think of anything to say. Eventually I admitted to the group how frustrated I was and that I knew I could agree with people once they told me my strengths, but I couldn't think of them in the first place. I came to the conclusion that maybe one of my strengths is reflecting on why I do things and being passionate about personal development. We had a good discussion and the teacher asked if I was up for people spontaneously saying what they thought my strengths were. That was fine, so they did. The first person said that they had noticed my great interest in other people. This was backed up by another saying that I really care for people and am always the one to just drop a text to see how someone's doing. A number of people said it was my determination to do things especially after they heard me talk about my desire to better myself and saw me running around trying to get a house last week! Another said my genuineness and openness. Another said my organisation and that I always seemt to know what I'm doing. We also picked out the perfectionist in me.
I think I benefitted a lot from this exercise and I'm going to hold on to the things people said. I'm not sure I could have such an insight into them back - I'm not that observant. But I'm impressed as they've only known we since late September!
I am looking forward to the next one!
It was good though. I enjoyed it. I think that they're going to be very insightful. At the moment we're starting off with an exercise each session to ease us into it. Today we had to think of one strength and share it with the group. We were then challenged by the group to voice what the positives and negatives about the strength.
I sat there getting more and more frustrated as my mind just went blank and I couldn't think of a strength. I know I have strengths. I've seen them! I've written them on application forms, and I've discussed them with people - but I just couldn't think of anything to say. Eventually I admitted to the group how frustrated I was and that I knew I could agree with people once they told me my strengths, but I couldn't think of them in the first place. I came to the conclusion that maybe one of my strengths is reflecting on why I do things and being passionate about personal development. We had a good discussion and the teacher asked if I was up for people spontaneously saying what they thought my strengths were. That was fine, so they did. The first person said that they had noticed my great interest in other people. This was backed up by another saying that I really care for people and am always the one to just drop a text to see how someone's doing. A number of people said it was my determination to do things especially after they heard me talk about my desire to better myself and saw me running around trying to get a house last week! Another said my genuineness and openness. Another said my organisation and that I always seemt to know what I'm doing. We also picked out the perfectionist in me.
I think I benefitted a lot from this exercise and I'm going to hold on to the things people said. I'm not sure I could have such an insight into them back - I'm not that observant. But I'm impressed as they've only known we since late September!
I am looking forward to the next one!
Friday, February 11, 2005
Interpersonal
Yesterday we had interpersonal skills.
I think it should be renamed 'intrapersonal' skills really. This module is going to be interesting and a lot of fun. Hard work as well as we delve into ourselves.
We briefly recapped on some Carl Rogers stuff from last term.
Self concept - our individual perception of ourselves, usually aquired in early childhood.
Ideal self - what the self, in response to the conditions of worth aspires to be. (e.g. child is reprimanded for showing fear - told to be brave, learns to be so and ends up not feeling fear at all)
Organismic self - present from birth. Represents the real inner life of the person. Aims to move towards harmony and intergration. When allowed to evolve - moves naturally to maturity and self actualisation.
Interesting stuff. We also looked at The Johari window. It consist of a square divided into four boxes. Top left represents 'Open' - your open, conscious public behaviour, known to you and others.
Top right represents 'Blind' - where others can see things about you that you cannot see
Bottom left represents 'Hidden' - the things we know about ourselves that we don't reveal to others.
Bottom right represents 'Unknown' - feelings, thoughts and motives within you that are known to neither yourself or others.
The open area can be expanded by talking honestly about yourself to other people and listening to feedback.
We had to share with the class - it was quite embarrassing but interesting to listen to others. Pretty much all of us had uni if the first section which was interesting.
In the afternoon we did some role play which was great fun! We split into two teams - the other team had to shut their eyes while we put them in previously agreed positions relating to a theme we'd agreed on. We put them in the position of a funeral/burial with a vicar, a dead person, some people crying etc. They then had to each in turn describe how they were standing. Once they done that - without opening their eyes they had to guess what the theme was. It was quite bizarre.
The teacher then opened his cosmic trading store and one by one we had to go up and offer him a characteristic we wanted to get rid of, and what we'd like to swap it for. I said my obsessiveness for creme eggs and bargins for some wisdom.
It's all been very interesting. I'm amazed at how well I've coped with it. Especially the role play. In the past I would have panicked and tried to get out of it - but I just let myself go and enjoyed it! I'm finding that I'm a lot more confident with the people in my classes too. We've changed round a bit and I'm finding it really easy to talk to new people! It's great!
I think it should be renamed 'intrapersonal' skills really. This module is going to be interesting and a lot of fun. Hard work as well as we delve into ourselves.
We briefly recapped on some Carl Rogers stuff from last term.
Self concept - our individual perception of ourselves, usually aquired in early childhood.
Ideal self - what the self, in response to the conditions of worth aspires to be. (e.g. child is reprimanded for showing fear - told to be brave, learns to be so and ends up not feeling fear at all)
Organismic self - present from birth. Represents the real inner life of the person. Aims to move towards harmony and intergration. When allowed to evolve - moves naturally to maturity and self actualisation.
Interesting stuff. We also looked at The Johari window. It consist of a square divided into four boxes. Top left represents 'Open' - your open, conscious public behaviour, known to you and others.
Top right represents 'Blind' - where others can see things about you that you cannot see
Bottom left represents 'Hidden' - the things we know about ourselves that we don't reveal to others.
Bottom right represents 'Unknown' - feelings, thoughts and motives within you that are known to neither yourself or others.
The open area can be expanded by talking honestly about yourself to other people and listening to feedback.
Taken from York St John class handout.
It's an interesting and clear way of looking at things. Helps you to see how the different information you have about yourself is held - and equally, how your client holds information about themselves. In class we had to think of two things for the open section and for the hidden section. It was quite hard to come up with them. I can't think of much that is hidden about me from my classmates. We also had to think of questions to ask others about ourselves for our blind section. I put, 'Do people really like me or do they just find me annoying?!' I couldn't think of questions for my unknown spot. That's more difficult.
We also had to think about our biggest success in the last 12 months - surviving uni life.
Our biggest failure in the last 12 months - going home from my gap year.
What we'd like to achieve in the next 12 months - to be more me.
What we'd like to achieve in the next 10 years - to do what God wants and to grow through and enjoy what he's got instore for me.
What our motto is - Phil 4:13.
What we'd like written on our grave stone! - 'I am not but I know I Am'.
We had to share with the class - it was quite embarrassing but interesting to listen to others. Pretty much all of us had uni if the first section which was interesting.
In the afternoon we did some role play which was great fun! We split into two teams - the other team had to shut their eyes while we put them in previously agreed positions relating to a theme we'd agreed on. We put them in the position of a funeral/burial with a vicar, a dead person, some people crying etc. They then had to each in turn describe how they were standing. Once they done that - without opening their eyes they had to guess what the theme was. It was quite bizarre.
The teacher then opened his cosmic trading store and one by one we had to go up and offer him a characteristic we wanted to get rid of, and what we'd like to swap it for. I said my obsessiveness for creme eggs and bargins for some wisdom.
It's all been very interesting. I'm amazed at how well I've coped with it. Especially the role play. In the past I would have panicked and tried to get out of it - but I just let myself go and enjoyed it! I'm finding that I'm a lot more confident with the people in my classes too. We've changed round a bit and I'm finding it really easy to talk to new people! It's great!
House and money
We had to sign our lives away this Wednesday.
Well, £200 each deposit for our new house - ouch! I had to lend a housemate £100, and another housemate had to lend the other housemate the full £200! We weren't expecting it.
It's quite scary really. I'm a bit worried about my housemates and money. They don't seem to have any of it. Or jobs. Our loan of about £1300 is to last us from April til October. Rent and bills of our new house from July will be about £735 over that time and there's the last installment of our current accommodation which will be over £800 with our bills. So together that's more than our loan. So it will be an interesting time. We just need jobs! I know I will be fine as I still have savings (but it'd be nice to have a job too), but my housemates have barely any money now and it's still 2months till we get our next loan in! It's crazy.
It's all very interesting. Makes we wonder how students can be without debt.
Still looking forward to the new house though. Think I've persuaded people to get a deal where we got broadband and free landline calls for a decent amount a month. It'll make such a difference having a landline. I'll actually be able to keep in touch with people better! I can't wait! Four and a half months to go! LOL. Need to live in the here and now more!
Well, £200 each deposit for our new house - ouch! I had to lend a housemate £100, and another housemate had to lend the other housemate the full £200! We weren't expecting it.
It's quite scary really. I'm a bit worried about my housemates and money. They don't seem to have any of it. Or jobs. Our loan of about £1300 is to last us from April til October. Rent and bills of our new house from July will be about £735 over that time and there's the last installment of our current accommodation which will be over £800 with our bills. So together that's more than our loan. So it will be an interesting time. We just need jobs! I know I will be fine as I still have savings (but it'd be nice to have a job too), but my housemates have barely any money now and it's still 2months till we get our next loan in! It's crazy.
It's all very interesting. Makes we wonder how students can be without debt.
Still looking forward to the new house though. Think I've persuaded people to get a deal where we got broadband and free landline calls for a decent amount a month. It'll make such a difference having a landline. I'll actually be able to keep in touch with people better! I can't wait! Four and a half months to go! LOL. Need to live in the here and now more!
Friday, February 04, 2005
House!
We have a house!
It's so exciting!
Everyone thought I was crazy getting up early and sitting there pressing refresh on the college intranet waiting for the list to come up. Crazy leaving messages on landlords' phones in the morning when they're all at work. But it certainly paid off! A guy phoned me back that afternoon with two houses for us to go and view - like 2/3mins from college, so we arranged to take a look the following afternoon. I liked both houses we looked at. The second one we had to ignore the mess because it was being redecorated. As we looked round we realised that there were a lot of people interested in them and we worried that we wouldn't have a chance. Until! The guy turned round at one point and said, 'Helen, you have first refusal because you left a message on my answerphone first.' - fantastic!!!!!
So we chose the house like 2 mins from college which is only 12 years old and looks really nice and will be fantastic! It has a garage under the house that we're going to turn into a kind of den and I'm going to have a bedroom on the top floor which has sky light windows. And, he's happy for us to have wires hanging all over the place to link all four of us up for broadband! That will save us having to pay out to get wireless. Plus it's £3 less a week than we're paying now.
He's a really nice guy and said to me that he knew we'd get the house as soon as he heard my voice on the phone. And when he sent the contracts through he wrote a note saying, 'Dear Helen, I'm so glad you got the house.' Brilliant! He even gave us a lift home and he doesn't care what state the house is in while we live there as long as it's clean at the end!
We're so excited! We want to move in now as it's soooo much closer to college.
I just want to thank you God! You've answered all my prayers in regards to housing so far. You knew that I wanted to be nearer college so that I can easily go round friends' houses when my housemates desert me to go out with boyfriends! Thank you thank you thank you! Now I believe even more that it's right for me to live with my non (or not yet!) Christian house mates as everything is going so smoothly and falling into place.
Ha, one of my housemates just had the cheek to complain that we all deserted her last night. I invited her out with me but she refused on grounds she was tired. Don't know what the others did. It just amuses me from the number of times she and the others desert me to go out with their boyfriends. Ah well, it's all fun!
Coming home today. Train station was rude and charged me £10 extra for train ticket. Grr. I hope it's a good journey.
It's so exciting!
Everyone thought I was crazy getting up early and sitting there pressing refresh on the college intranet waiting for the list to come up. Crazy leaving messages on landlords' phones in the morning when they're all at work. But it certainly paid off! A guy phoned me back that afternoon with two houses for us to go and view - like 2/3mins from college, so we arranged to take a look the following afternoon. I liked both houses we looked at. The second one we had to ignore the mess because it was being redecorated. As we looked round we realised that there were a lot of people interested in them and we worried that we wouldn't have a chance. Until! The guy turned round at one point and said, 'Helen, you have first refusal because you left a message on my answerphone first.' - fantastic!!!!!
So we chose the house like 2 mins from college which is only 12 years old and looks really nice and will be fantastic! It has a garage under the house that we're going to turn into a kind of den and I'm going to have a bedroom on the top floor which has sky light windows. And, he's happy for us to have wires hanging all over the place to link all four of us up for broadband! That will save us having to pay out to get wireless. Plus it's £3 less a week than we're paying now.
He's a really nice guy and said to me that he knew we'd get the house as soon as he heard my voice on the phone. And when he sent the contracts through he wrote a note saying, 'Dear Helen, I'm so glad you got the house.' Brilliant! He even gave us a lift home and he doesn't care what state the house is in while we live there as long as it's clean at the end!
We're so excited! We want to move in now as it's soooo much closer to college.
I just want to thank you God! You've answered all my prayers in regards to housing so far. You knew that I wanted to be nearer college so that I can easily go round friends' houses when my housemates desert me to go out with boyfriends! Thank you thank you thank you! Now I believe even more that it's right for me to live with my non (or not yet!) Christian house mates as everything is going so smoothly and falling into place.
Ha, one of my housemates just had the cheek to complain that we all deserted her last night. I invited her out with me but she refused on grounds she was tired. Don't know what the others did. It just amuses me from the number of times she and the others desert me to go out with their boyfriends. Ah well, it's all fun!
Coming home today. Train station was rude and charged me £10 extra for train ticket. Grr. I hope it's a good journey.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Birthday!
Well today has been my 20th birthday!
It started off cool with talking to my parents and various other people online at midnight, then as soon as I woke up I opened the cards and presents that had come in the post. So that was cool. I talked to my nana and aunt on the phone for a while which was cool too.
Then I realised that no one was about, so felt a bit lonely. Went to church and no one spoke to me as usual. I went to the hall for a drink afterwards but couldn't see anyone I knew. A girl from college appeared to recognise me and took me back to her's for lunch as I was upset that it was my birthday and there was no one to hang with! It was so nice of her. She cooked me dinner and then walked me most of the way home! It was so lovely. She recognised me from the grub crawls that CU did at the beginning of term!
When I got back home I talked to the family on the phone for hours! Had to go round all of them which was cool. They seemed to be having fun having a birthday meal for dad. When I spoke to him he hadn't been able to open any presents yet! We're going to have a sort of second celebration for me when I go home next weekend.
My housemate was up when I got back which was cool. We walked into town together as I was going to a student tea at church. She even came up and sat there with me for a bit which is really cool because as far as I know she's never been to church or anything before. The student tea was ok. Better than the last, but I felt a bit left out as they were all York Uni students and they just talked about that. The curate did apologise for forgetting to meet me last Thursday though and she told everyone to say happy birthday to me as they came upstairs - lol!
Church was cool in the evening though. I met up with my new American friend and Bek - we sat together. Haven't sat with anyone I know for a while! It was a good service and then we went and introduced my American friend to all the people from St. Johns. This meant that they talked to me to. Somehow it's less scary when she's with me. Party because she's so confident, but partly because I take on a different role. I'm looking after her, not me. We went to the church hall afterwards where we met more people. I was able to chat a bit with someone I met in the week, then we got caught by the worship leader's wife (who does singing lessons!!!) selling tickets and she introduced us to more people!
We then walked home - yey not on my own! And here I am now, where I think I'm going to settle down in my empty house with a book and a creme egg :D
So a bit of an up and down day. Oh and Bek thought my birthday was tomorrow and she told my other friends that, so that explains the lack of contact with some people. I got texts from my prayer triplet in Leamington which was cool, who both said presents are in the post!
It started off cool with talking to my parents and various other people online at midnight, then as soon as I woke up I opened the cards and presents that had come in the post. So that was cool. I talked to my nana and aunt on the phone for a while which was cool too.
Then I realised that no one was about, so felt a bit lonely. Went to church and no one spoke to me as usual. I went to the hall for a drink afterwards but couldn't see anyone I knew. A girl from college appeared to recognise me and took me back to her's for lunch as I was upset that it was my birthday and there was no one to hang with! It was so nice of her. She cooked me dinner and then walked me most of the way home! It was so lovely. She recognised me from the grub crawls that CU did at the beginning of term!
When I got back home I talked to the family on the phone for hours! Had to go round all of them which was cool. They seemed to be having fun having a birthday meal for dad. When I spoke to him he hadn't been able to open any presents yet! We're going to have a sort of second celebration for me when I go home next weekend.
My housemate was up when I got back which was cool. We walked into town together as I was going to a student tea at church. She even came up and sat there with me for a bit which is really cool because as far as I know she's never been to church or anything before. The student tea was ok. Better than the last, but I felt a bit left out as they were all York Uni students and they just talked about that. The curate did apologise for forgetting to meet me last Thursday though and she told everyone to say happy birthday to me as they came upstairs - lol!
Church was cool in the evening though. I met up with my new American friend and Bek - we sat together. Haven't sat with anyone I know for a while! It was a good service and then we went and introduced my American friend to all the people from St. Johns. This meant that they talked to me to. Somehow it's less scary when she's with me. Party because she's so confident, but partly because I take on a different role. I'm looking after her, not me. We went to the church hall afterwards where we met more people. I was able to chat a bit with someone I met in the week, then we got caught by the worship leader's wife (who does singing lessons!!!) selling tickets and she introduced us to more people!
We then walked home - yey not on my own! And here I am now, where I think I'm going to settle down in my empty house with a book and a creme egg :D
So a bit of an up and down day. Oh and Bek thought my birthday was tomorrow and she told my other friends that, so that explains the lack of contact with some people. I got texts from my prayer triplet in Leamington which was cool, who both said presents are in the post!
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Bye Bye
I don't know how other people like to spend their birthday, but one of my housemates has gone to spend the eve with her boyfriend, so she won't be here in the morning and is spending the day with him. Another one has gone home to see her boyfriend and probably won't be back till Tuesday, so it's just two of us left. Hmm... that makes me a bit sad :(
Spider
Hmmm... irrational fears.
I just had a big spider crawl passed me on my bed as I was settling down to read a book. I leaped into the kitchen and got my two housemates to help me get rid of it with the vacuum cleaner. I'm not an evil spider killer and I'm quite happy for them to be taken outside and left to carry on their lives, but sometimes there is no other option and panic takes over!
We think we got it. Not 100% certain. We left the cleaner hanging out the front door incase it climbs back down it. But I'm too scared to stay in my room for long. How am I supposed to sleep tonight?! Everywhere I look I think I see a spider and I keep feeling like they're crawling on me.
I hate having such an irrational fear, but it really sends me into such a panic and will take me a few days to feel comfortable in my room again - not constantly looking over my shoulder!
*shiver*
help!
I just had a big spider crawl passed me on my bed as I was settling down to read a book. I leaped into the kitchen and got my two housemates to help me get rid of it with the vacuum cleaner. I'm not an evil spider killer and I'm quite happy for them to be taken outside and left to carry on their lives, but sometimes there is no other option and panic takes over!
We think we got it. Not 100% certain. We left the cleaner hanging out the front door incase it climbs back down it. But I'm too scared to stay in my room for long. How am I supposed to sleep tonight?! Everywhere I look I think I see a spider and I keep feeling like they're crawling on me.
I hate having such an irrational fear, but it really sends me into such a panic and will take me a few days to feel comfortable in my room again - not constantly looking over my shoulder!
*shiver*
help!
Leeds
Last night we went out in Leeds for the second stage of our birthday celebrations!
It was a good evening. You can see some pics that Bar Censsa took www.barcenssaleeds.com(sorry - haven't figured out how to do links properly in me blog)
Not much else to say about it really!
I have 8 cards and 3 presents sitting waiting for me in my room. It's so hard not to open them! My housemates bought me a cool photo frame, so I'm going to get some photo's printed.
It's me birthday tomorrow - yey yey yey!
It was a good evening. You can see some pics that Bar Censsa took www.barcenssaleeds.com(sorry - haven't figured out how to do links properly in me blog)
Not much else to say about it really!
I have 8 cards and 3 presents sitting waiting for me in my room. It's so hard not to open them! My housemates bought me a cool photo frame, so I'm going to get some photo's printed.
It's me birthday tomorrow - yey yey yey!
Kids Party
Here's the moment you've all been waiting for!
On Thurs evening we had a kids birthday party for my housemate and I. Our two other housemates planned it all and decorated the kitchen. We had wigs, party hats, whistles, badges, sausage rolls, crisps, party biscuits, party poppers, pass the parcel, jelly
We even had cake and jelly and played twister
and of course we went to asda in our wigs!
It was all so funny! We did a conga outside around the student accommodation with big party poppers. The girls had put so much effort into it, I was well flattered!
On Thurs evening we had a kids birthday party for my housemate and I. Our two other housemates planned it all and decorated the kitchen. We had wigs, party hats, whistles, badges, sausage rolls, crisps, party biscuits, party poppers, pass the parcel, jelly
We even had cake and jelly and played twister
and of course we went to asda in our wigs!
It was all so funny! We did a conga outside around the student accommodation with big party poppers. The girls had put so much effort into it, I was well flattered!
Monday, January 24, 2005
Internationals
(for the second time of writing - grrr)
Today *shock* I helped out with the arrival of the new international students.
I didn't really do much as they seemed to have everything covered, but I did meet one girl and also got invited to a weekend in Paris. Never been there, so that should be cool.
She's from the USA and is living two doors down from me this term. She's friendly and bubbly and decided to hang out with me all afternoon which was cool. When we walked through college she said hello to the people we passed - although none responded... I've never done that! She didn't even appear that put off by their negative responses and her confidence certainly wasn't dented!
She even came to the drs with me where we had a long wait. This didn't bother her as she just talked to everyone who was there. When two girls came in she said hello to them but they looked at her as if she was strange. She turned to me and said, 'don't you guys to that in England?!' To which I replied, 'no, not usually, but I wish we did.' She still managed to get a conversation going with them and chatted for ages not in the least worried about what they thought of her or anything.
This all facinated and amazed me. The ease at which she strikes up conversation and keeps it going. I've only known her for an afternoon and yet I already want to be like her. It's at times like this that I hate being a reserved British person (yes I know Carl, I need to be who I am!). I want to strike up conversations with complete strangers. I want to be so confident in myself (or more accurately God) that I don't care what others think. The thing is, I'm even too scared to talk to her again. What if she didn't like me and found me boring or annoying? (although she did want to show me to her parents - 'my parents would so love to see an English girl!!!') Oh my silly brain. I think I have a lot to learn from Katie. I know I can do it, cuz I have in certain circumstances. It would be cool to be free.
Today *shock* I helped out with the arrival of the new international students.
I didn't really do much as they seemed to have everything covered, but I did meet one girl and also got invited to a weekend in Paris. Never been there, so that should be cool.
She's from the USA and is living two doors down from me this term. She's friendly and bubbly and decided to hang out with me all afternoon which was cool. When we walked through college she said hello to the people we passed - although none responded... I've never done that! She didn't even appear that put off by their negative responses and her confidence certainly wasn't dented!
She even came to the drs with me where we had a long wait. This didn't bother her as she just talked to everyone who was there. When two girls came in she said hello to them but they looked at her as if she was strange. She turned to me and said, 'don't you guys to that in England?!' To which I replied, 'no, not usually, but I wish we did.' She still managed to get a conversation going with them and chatted for ages not in the least worried about what they thought of her or anything.
This all facinated and amazed me. The ease at which she strikes up conversation and keeps it going. I've only known her for an afternoon and yet I already want to be like her. It's at times like this that I hate being a reserved British person (yes I know Carl, I need to be who I am!). I want to strike up conversations with complete strangers. I want to be so confident in myself (or more accurately God) that I don't care what others think. The thing is, I'm even too scared to talk to her again. What if she didn't like me and found me boring or annoying? (although she did want to show me to her parents - 'my parents would so love to see an English girl!!!') Oh my silly brain. I think I have a lot to learn from Katie. I know I can do it, cuz I have in certain circumstances. It would be cool to be free.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Forgiveness
Forgiveness. An interesting term in a world of revenge and bitterness.
We were looking at the forgiveness part in the Apostle's Creed this morning. Talking about how we have two tasks. One to repent and ask God for forgiveness - to really mean we're sorry with our hearts. Two to forgive others. How can we experience the freedom of forgiveness if we won't give to and release others? The bitterness and hurt of not forgiving others we carry around with us is heavy and drags us down. It effects our every day life. The desire to seek our revenge and get even with those that hurt us seeps into every aspect of our lives.
The thing is, it's so much easier said than done.
I thought I'd given up the hurt and bitterness left from my gap year when I was at Passion for Your Name. I think I did, it's just it's come back. This week everything keeps reminding me of it. The songs we sang at church, the people I see, the views people take on things etc. And it hurts. A lot.
I need to forgive and let it go, but I don't know how. I want them to say sorry for putting to much responsibilty on me, but I know that's not going to happen. I just need to give it up to God and move on.
Hmm.......
-------------------------------------------
Back to belonging. So didn't feel like I belonged at church today. Even the people who sat next to me this evening (no one did this morning) didn't make a great effort and ran off straight after the service. One young couple were lovely though. The girl came running over after the morning service to ask how my week had been.
Everyone's just so busy running around doing their own thing. Even when I went up for prayer ministry this evening they were eager to get on to the next person. I was just starting to connect with God and it was, 'We're going to move on to the next person now, ok?' It's like a mass transit system.
Once I finally (if I do) feel settled in the church I want to lead a team of people in sorting out their welcoming. I was listening to a Hero today by Superchic[k]. It's about being the Hero that goes and talks to/befriends the person on their own. In the song, those people are hurting people and lonely people and it encourages you to be the Hero that could save their life.
We were looking at the forgiveness part in the Apostle's Creed this morning. Talking about how we have two tasks. One to repent and ask God for forgiveness - to really mean we're sorry with our hearts. Two to forgive others. How can we experience the freedom of forgiveness if we won't give to and release others? The bitterness and hurt of not forgiving others we carry around with us is heavy and drags us down. It effects our every day life. The desire to seek our revenge and get even with those that hurt us seeps into every aspect of our lives.
The thing is, it's so much easier said than done.
I thought I'd given up the hurt and bitterness left from my gap year when I was at Passion for Your Name. I think I did, it's just it's come back. This week everything keeps reminding me of it. The songs we sang at church, the people I see, the views people take on things etc. And it hurts. A lot.
I need to forgive and let it go, but I don't know how. I want them to say sorry for putting to much responsibilty on me, but I know that's not going to happen. I just need to give it up to God and move on.
Hmm.......
-------------------------------------------
Back to belonging. So didn't feel like I belonged at church today. Even the people who sat next to me this evening (no one did this morning) didn't make a great effort and ran off straight after the service. One young couple were lovely though. The girl came running over after the morning service to ask how my week had been.
Everyone's just so busy running around doing their own thing. Even when I went up for prayer ministry this evening they were eager to get on to the next person. I was just starting to connect with God and it was, 'We're going to move on to the next person now, ok?' It's like a mass transit system.
Once I finally (if I do) feel settled in the church I want to lead a team of people in sorting out their welcoming. I was listening to a Hero today by Superchic[k]. It's about being the Hero that goes and talks to/befriends the person on their own. In the song, those people are hurting people and lonely people and it encourages you to be the Hero that could save their life.
No one sits with him, he doesn’t fit in
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him
Cause you want to belong do you go along
Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong
It’s not like we hate him or want him to die
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side
And a kindness from you might have saved his life
Heroes are made when you make a choice
You could be a hero
Heroes do what’s right
You could be a hero
You might save a life
You could be a hero,
You could join the fight
For what’s right for what’s right for what’s right
No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She’s in too much pain to survive on her own
The hurt she can’t handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life
Each day she goes on is a day that she is brave,
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way,
Each moment of courage her own life she saves
When she throws out the pills a hero is made
[Chorus]
No one talks to him about how he lives
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his
Doesn’t know he’s a leader with the way he behaves
And others will follow the choices he’s made
He lives on the edge, he’s old enough to decide
His brother who wants to be him is just nine
He can do what he wants because it’s his right
The choices he makes change a nine year old’s life
[Chorus]
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Minster Ball
Last night was the minster ball. I was looking forward to it as I've never been to a ball before.
But to be honest, I was greatly disappointed.
Don't get me wrong, it was great fun dressing up:
But for a start the minster was sooooo cold it really spoilt things as you could concentrate on nothing more than how on earth you could warm your poor body up.
The food was lovely though. I did enjoy that. I even ate the soup *shock*
There were some really gorgeously dressed people too. I got videoed as a guy did a magic trick for me. I wonder where they'll show that. Probably at York Uni sometime.
Since it was organised by York Uni CU, with the help of York St John's CU there was a speaker. Granted it was short and snappy (depending on what you're comparing it too!), but it was a definate you're going to hell and are going to burn!!! talk. I'm sure sometimes that is needed - the kind of 'shock' talk, but I'm not sure if it was suitable for last night.
I also felt a bit lost in the crowd. There were so many people there. Mostly from York Uni, and since I haven't got involved in the CU at college I really only knew the people on my table. It felt like we were gatecrashing someone else's massive party. I guess I could have introduced myself to people, but a lot of people just seemed so stuck up or already in there crowd, that they would have just looked at you oddly if you'd even said hello.
Anyway, I shall not be going to that again me thinks.
It's made me think a lot about belonging. We all have a desire to belong inside and it's incredibly unsettling to be in a place where you feel that you don't belong. It takes me a long time to feel that I belong. Something I'll have to think about and work on.
But to be honest, I was greatly disappointed.
Don't get me wrong, it was great fun dressing up:
But for a start the minster was sooooo cold it really spoilt things as you could concentrate on nothing more than how on earth you could warm your poor body up.
The food was lovely though. I did enjoy that. I even ate the soup *shock*
There were some really gorgeously dressed people too. I got videoed as a guy did a magic trick for me. I wonder where they'll show that. Probably at York Uni sometime.
Since it was organised by York Uni CU, with the help of York St John's CU there was a speaker. Granted it was short and snappy (depending on what you're comparing it too!), but it was a definate you're going to hell and are going to burn!!! talk. I'm sure sometimes that is needed - the kind of 'shock' talk, but I'm not sure if it was suitable for last night.
I also felt a bit lost in the crowd. There were so many people there. Mostly from York Uni, and since I haven't got involved in the CU at college I really only knew the people on my table. It felt like we were gatecrashing someone else's massive party. I guess I could have introduced myself to people, but a lot of people just seemed so stuck up or already in there crowd, that they would have just looked at you oddly if you'd even said hello.
Anyway, I shall not be going to that again me thinks.
It's made me think a lot about belonging. We all have a desire to belong inside and it's incredibly unsettling to be in a place where you feel that you don't belong. It takes me a long time to feel that I belong. Something I'll have to think about and work on.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Change
Read this quote in a book. Don't know who it's by:
If you continue to behave as you have always behaved,
people will continue to treat you are they always have treated you.
Interesting thoughts...
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Sign up
Today I have signed up for the worship band at church.
I wasn't going to do it as it seemed really daunting because the church is so big and they're all so good etc. But the lady I sat next to this evening spontaneously told me I had a good strong voice - so I went for it! Watch this space me thinks.
Also signed up to help with the musical production the youth are doing at half term. Shame I haven't got a half term!
Successfully got to church twice today without getting knocked off my bike! I even met a lady who saw it happen last week - thanks for stopping matey!!!! So what if you were late for church?!! So was I! (please take note of the sarcasm)
I wasn't going to do it as it seemed really daunting because the church is so big and they're all so good etc. But the lady I sat next to this evening spontaneously told me I had a good strong voice - so I went for it! Watch this space me thinks.
Also signed up to help with the musical production the youth are doing at half term. Shame I haven't got a half term!
Successfully got to church twice today without getting knocked off my bike! I even met a lady who saw it happen last week - thanks for stopping matey!!!! So what if you were late for church?!! So was I! (please take note of the sarcasm)
Friday, January 14, 2005
Completion!
I have finished all my essays for this semester! Whoooo! It feels so good. I now have two weeks to recover and relax and prepare myself for the next semester.
I also successfully bought a MAKEPOVERTYHISTORY band thingy today - finally!
Am also feeling quite good with things. I've got a book on assertiveness that I'm going to read and study this week, and am also going to put quotes up round my room from 'The 7 habits of a highly effective teenager.' Very good book - recommended to me by Laura.
I'm not fully content. I'm frustrated with my lack of confidence in going for a job. I'm questioning a bit why I'm doing counselling. Sure it's a good and interesting course. But would it have been more productive to have done it at like an evening school? Hmm...
Not liking cycling at the moment. Every car that comes up behind me makes me scared. I freak it's going to hit me! Hope I get over this soon.
Fed up with my counsellor too. Going to investigate elsewhere. She's just not experienced enough or what I need. She doesn't understand.
aaahhh *sigh* It's gonna be so nice to just chill :)
I also successfully bought a MAKEPOVERTYHISTORY band thingy today - finally!
Am also feeling quite good with things. I've got a book on assertiveness that I'm going to read and study this week, and am also going to put quotes up round my room from 'The 7 habits of a highly effective teenager.' Very good book - recommended to me by Laura.
I'm not fully content. I'm frustrated with my lack of confidence in going for a job. I'm questioning a bit why I'm doing counselling. Sure it's a good and interesting course. But would it have been more productive to have done it at like an evening school? Hmm...
Not liking cycling at the moment. Every car that comes up behind me makes me scared. I freak it's going to hit me! Hope I get over this soon.
Fed up with my counsellor too. Going to investigate elsewhere. She's just not experienced enough or what I need. She doesn't understand.
aaahhh *sigh* It's gonna be so nice to just chill :)
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Shocks
2 main shocks today
1: I got knocked off me bike :(
2: They said at church that politicians are considering suspending the 3rd world debt - progress me thinks - don't know the details will have to investigate. Shock that they're considering doing something though.
Oh and yeah, I'm not hurt and neither's me bike. Just a bit shook up. It was the driver's fault. He was behind me and I was going straight on and he was going left, but he thought I was going left too or something. I don't know!
1: I got knocked off me bike :(
2: They said at church that politicians are considering suspending the 3rd world debt - progress me thinks - don't know the details will have to investigate. Shock that they're considering doing something though.
Oh and yeah, I'm not hurt and neither's me bike. Just a bit shook up. It was the driver's fault. He was behind me and I was going straight on and he was going left, but he thought I was going left too or something. I don't know!
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Love of God in You?
Just looking at this verse in the talk I'm studying by Louie Giglio
1 John 3:17 ‘If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?'
"You can't say, 'yeah I've got it, I'm standing under the waterfall of the unconditional love of God, I know I'm "Be" "loved" and I love "Be" and I just want to love Him and have Him love me all of my life' and when you see someone in need of the love of God, it just doesn't flow out of you into that person - all that's saying is you don't know fully the love of God. Because when it's in us, when it's saturated us, when it's exploded in our heart, it seeps out of us, it pours out of us to other people.So that's how he (the author of 1 John) summarises what you people are about. You're a living picture of this verse today. v.18 'Dear children (Beloved) let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.' Why? Because that's the test. It's what lets us know that the love of God is in us, not when the words come out, but then the heart moves us into motion. That's when we know the love of God is resigning in us."
Interesting me thinks.
I can now see in me a change over the last few years. I can see the love of God starting to flow out as I accept more and more God's love of me. And I have to say it's exciting.
I think it's a good wakeup call to us all as well. Are we just loving the idea of having God's love for ourselves? Have we really grasped what it is he's done for us? What does it take to move to the next stage? What does it mean in practice to be overflowing with God's love?
1 John 3:17 ‘If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?'
"You can't say, 'yeah I've got it, I'm standing under the waterfall of the unconditional love of God, I know I'm "Be" "loved" and I love "Be" and I just want to love Him and have Him love me all of my life' and when you see someone in need of the love of God, it just doesn't flow out of you into that person - all that's saying is you don't know fully the love of God. Because when it's in us, when it's saturated us, when it's exploded in our heart, it seeps out of us, it pours out of us to other people.So that's how he (the author of 1 John) summarises what you people are about. You're a living picture of this verse today. v.18 'Dear children (Beloved) let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.' Why? Because that's the test. It's what lets us know that the love of God is in us, not when the words come out, but then the heart moves us into motion. That's when we know the love of God is resigning in us."
Interesting me thinks.
I can now see in me a change over the last few years. I can see the love of God starting to flow out as I accept more and more God's love of me. And I have to say it's exciting.
I think it's a good wakeup call to us all as well. Are we just loving the idea of having God's love for ourselves? Have we really grasped what it is he's done for us? What does it take to move to the next stage? What does it mean in practice to be overflowing with God's love?
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