Forgiveness

Forgiveness. An interesting term in a world of revenge and bitterness.
We were looking at the forgiveness part in the Apostle's Creed this morning. Talking about how we have two tasks. One to repent and ask God for forgiveness - to really mean we're sorry with our hearts. Two to forgive others. How can we experience the freedom of forgiveness if we won't give to and release others? The bitterness and hurt of not forgiving others we carry around with us is heavy and drags us down. It effects our every day life. The desire to seek our revenge and get even with those that hurt us seeps into every aspect of our lives.

The thing is, it's so much easier said than done.

I thought I'd given up the hurt and bitterness left from my gap year when I was at Passion for Your Name. I think I did, it's just it's come back. This week everything keeps reminding me of it. The songs we sang at church, the people I see, the views people take on things etc. And it hurts. A lot.

I need to forgive and let it go, but I don't know how. I want them to say sorry for putting to much responsibilty on me, but I know that's not going to happen. I just need to give it up to God and move on.

Hmm.......

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Back to belonging. So didn't feel like I belonged at church today. Even the people who sat next to me this evening (no one did this morning) didn't make a great effort and ran off straight after the service. One young couple were lovely though. The girl came running over after the morning service to ask how my week had been.
Everyone's just so busy running around doing their own thing. Even when I went up for prayer ministry this evening they were eager to get on to the next person. I was just starting to connect with God and it was, 'We're going to move on to the next person now, ok?' It's like a mass transit system.

Once I finally (if I do) feel settled in the church I want to lead a team of people in sorting out their welcoming. I was listening to a Hero today by Superchic[k]. It's about being the Hero that goes and talks to/befriends the person on their own. In the song, those people are hurting people and lonely people and it encourages you to be the Hero that could save their life.

No one sits with him, he doesn’t fit in

But we feel like we do when we make fun of him

Cause you want to belong do you go along

Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong

It’s not like we hate him or want him to die

But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide

Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side

And a kindness from you might have saved his life

Heroes are made when you make a choice

You could be a hero

Heroes do what’s right

You could be a hero

You might save a life

You could be a hero,

You could join the fight

For what’s right for what’s right for what’s right

No one talks to her, she feels so alone

She’s in too much pain to survive on her own

The hurt she can’t handle overflows to a knife

She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life

Each day she goes on is a day that she is brave,

Fighting the lie that giving up is the way,

Each moment of courage her own life she saves

When she throws out the pills a hero is made

[Chorus]

No one talks to him about how he lives

He thinks that the choices he makes are just his

Doesn’t know he’s a leader with the way he behaves

And others will follow the choices he’s made

He lives on the edge, he’s old enough to decide

His brother who wants to be him is just nine

He can do what he wants because it’s his right

The choices he makes change a nine year old’s life

[Chorus]