Meditation

Tonight I went to the Monday night meditation group at St Augustine's after comments from Heather's blog (sorry - haven't got time to figure out links!). I was very apprehensive in going since I didn't know anyone and wasn't really sure where I was going!

Anyway, there were about 10 people and they were all very welcoming - one intent on telling me she'd been to NCBC for 20 years. I restrained myself from telling her that it's only been 'alive' 2 years, and if we're including the churches beforehand then I've been there 20 years too! Lol - makes me laugh. She didn't recognise me, although I recognised her.

We moved on quite quickly to getting started after a brief introduction and listenined to a tape with some guy called John talking about faith. I can't remember much about that as I struggled to switch off the busy day I've had. A guy then quickly explained what we were gonna do and the role of the mantra. We then listened to a few minutes of music followed by 20/5 mins of silence and then a bit more music.

For the first 10 minutes I managed to keep saying the mantra (ma-ra-na-tha or something - supposedly meaning come God) and got quite into it. Although it felt very intense and I had an imense pressure on my chest and head. I thought that was me trying to concentrate but it wasn't. I felt that I need to give some things over to God, so I did, but then got really really hot and felt sick and light-headed so I had to pull back. For the rest of the quiet time I was just jiffily waiting for the time to end. I wanted to go home and put me head down!

It all felt very strange. I didn't slip into it as easily as the times I've done reflective stuff before like when Heather did stuff at Fridays or on conferences I've been to. Maybe with practice it'll become easier. I just like the way it has potential to bring focus when my head is so usually all over the place.

We also talked a bit about 24/7 which was cool as I was able to fill them in a bit. I felt quiet but confident with them which was nice. A little scared to go again, but I'd like to. I wonder if they'd mind me lying on the floor, or is it important to sit on a chair with a straight back and feet flat?