I'm fed up of being ill.
Everyone's ill. For the past few weeks there has been only about 50% of my course turning up to lectures.
I think I've been not quite right for almost three weeks now. Started with feeling sick, hot and cold, then turned into a sticking cold, then got better, but went hot and cold again, and now I've been feeling constantly sick for the last few days.
It's rude I tell you!
Most annoyingly, I'm not ill ill. I just don't have the energy to go about life as enthusiasically. I hate feeling sick cuz the only time I don't feel sick is when I'm eating or sleeping - and I can't very well do that all day!
Just thought I'd have a rant.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Emily and the geese
Emily came to visit me this week. She had great fun feeding the geese :D
They were very tame geese that kept looking up at as longingly for bread
She also enjoyed chilling with my friends
Thank you for coming to stay with me Emily - you're great! :D
They were very tame geese that kept looking up at as longingly for bread
She also enjoyed chilling with my friends
Thank you for coming to stay with me Emily - you're great! :D
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Heating Prayer Answered?
Not sure if this is a proper answer to prayer or what, but...
Woke up this morning to a freezing house, none of the radiators were working and there was no hot water. Fiddled with the boiler and followed the instructions, but there was no flame. So I rang our landlord.
I've been home an hour or so and have just been moaning to a friend about it, so she told me to go pray over the boiler. I ran down the stairs praying for God to send his fire (literally
) walked through the kitchen door and heard a 'wvrrooff' (or whatever noise flames make), looked at the boiler and saw the flame and felt it's warmth.
Then I noticed the note on the table from my landlord saying that he'd fixed it and it was probably the big winds we're having that caused it and to give him a ring if it happens again. So he's been in and sorted it while I've been singing to me music!!!
So it's kinda an answer - but whichever I thought it was cool to share
Woke up this morning to a freezing house, none of the radiators were working and there was no hot water. Fiddled with the boiler and followed the instructions, but there was no flame. So I rang our landlord.
I've been home an hour or so and have just been moaning to a friend about it, so she told me to go pray over the boiler. I ran down the stairs praying for God to send his fire (literally
) walked through the kitchen door and heard a 'wvrrooff' (or whatever noise flames make), looked at the boiler and saw the flame and felt it's warmth.Then I noticed the note on the table from my landlord saying that he'd fixed it and it was probably the big winds we're having that caused it and to give him a ring if it happens again. So he's been in and sorted it while I've been singing to me music!!!
So it's kinda an answer - but whichever I thought it was cool to share
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Ironic-ness
Entertainingly, I have been at a conference Fri eve and all yesterday that involved healing - and I've come away feeling worse than when I got there!
The conference was at Manchester Vineyard and was called Signs and Wonders with speakers Jeff and Jan Jansen.
I felt slightly ill before I went, but put it down to being tired and a distraction from the devil following on from being Baptised a week ago, and going to a conference that he certainly wouldn't like! But no, this morning I woke (after not much sleep) feeling achy and manky and ill. I hate being ill. It's just rude!
The conference was... interesting. God was definitely there, but it was a little too extreme and hyped for my liking. I didn't really understand what the guy was talking about and it felt more like him telling stories and jumping round the Bible than actually teaching us anything. I guess there will have been people there who got something from it though.
But the thing that annoyed me most was the way people get carried away and swept up in the hype rather than God. We had emotional music going up and down, the guy kept shouting into his microphone, he went round the room hitting people on the head - some of which fell over, others didn't. People had all the usual manifestations, but it just could have been done better. I watched Mike Pilivachi's 'How to pray for someone' clip on the God Channel this evening from last years Soul Survivor, and basically this guy yesterday was completely going against everything I've been taught.
It annoys me that people hype things up because I know that it puts so many people off receiving God's power through His Holy Spirit in this way because it freaks them out, or disgusts them or whatever. God's Holy Spirit is an amazingly powerful gift that is incredibly useful and refreshing. But unfortunately open to abuse. I had to remember a lot to let it just be God and me, cuz he can work through anything and with most things in life, we have to disregard the stuff that's us, and focus on the God stuff.
Some cool bits of the weekend were getting a vision of God holding me under this right arm at the edge of the room while we watched what was going on. He was loving it, and cheering everyone on like a funky rap geezer and we laughed together. It showed me that it's ok if other people are doing freaky stuff, cuz he's got me and he loves us all and he just enjoys all that we do for him.
Also we had a fire/prayer tunnel where we made a circle in pairs, then one at a time people went through it and we all layed hands on them and asked God to bless them and send his fire on them. I was a little apprehensive, but in blessing others God was blessing me, it was like wow. Then as soon as I started going through I couldn't stop crying and felt an amazing outpouring of God's love as up to 200 people prayed for me.
So yeah, in summary, people are silly but God is amazing!
The conference was at Manchester Vineyard and was called Signs and Wonders with speakers Jeff and Jan Jansen.
I felt slightly ill before I went, but put it down to being tired and a distraction from the devil following on from being Baptised a week ago, and going to a conference that he certainly wouldn't like! But no, this morning I woke (after not much sleep) feeling achy and manky and ill. I hate being ill. It's just rude!
The conference was... interesting. God was definitely there, but it was a little too extreme and hyped for my liking. I didn't really understand what the guy was talking about and it felt more like him telling stories and jumping round the Bible than actually teaching us anything. I guess there will have been people there who got something from it though.
But the thing that annoyed me most was the way people get carried away and swept up in the hype rather than God. We had emotional music going up and down, the guy kept shouting into his microphone, he went round the room hitting people on the head - some of which fell over, others didn't. People had all the usual manifestations, but it just could have been done better. I watched Mike Pilivachi's 'How to pray for someone' clip on the God Channel this evening from last years Soul Survivor, and basically this guy yesterday was completely going against everything I've been taught.
It annoys me that people hype things up because I know that it puts so many people off receiving God's power through His Holy Spirit in this way because it freaks them out, or disgusts them or whatever. God's Holy Spirit is an amazingly powerful gift that is incredibly useful and refreshing. But unfortunately open to abuse. I had to remember a lot to let it just be God and me, cuz he can work through anything and with most things in life, we have to disregard the stuff that's us, and focus on the God stuff.
Some cool bits of the weekend were getting a vision of God holding me under this right arm at the edge of the room while we watched what was going on. He was loving it, and cheering everyone on like a funky rap geezer and we laughed together. It showed me that it's ok if other people are doing freaky stuff, cuz he's got me and he loves us all and he just enjoys all that we do for him.
Also we had a fire/prayer tunnel where we made a circle in pairs, then one at a time people went through it and we all layed hands on them and asked God to bless them and send his fire on them. I was a little apprehensive, but in blessing others God was blessing me, it was like wow. Then as soon as I started going through I couldn't stop crying and felt an amazing outpouring of God's love as up to 200 people prayed for me.
So yeah, in summary, people are silly but God is amazing!
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Salsa
I have just been to 3hrs of salsa on the other side of York!
It took us about 20-30mins to cycle there and then it was a lot of work when we got there!
It was fun though - I really enjoyed it.
The question is, can I fit it in every week? I've got a lecture 3-5, then I will have a massage course 5.30-7, then salsa is 7.30-whenever, usually about 11/12 but you can leave early, then I'm working from 10pm-8am! Hmm...
Anyway. It was alright to begin with, dancing on your own and learning the steps. But then when we danced in pairs I found it all too intimate! I didn't know where to look and you were so close to your partner! I've never felt like that before. I felt like a little school girl discovering boys for the first time! I hope it wears off and gets easier.
It was just nice to be out with some friends.
It took us about 20-30mins to cycle there and then it was a lot of work when we got there!
It was fun though - I really enjoyed it.
The question is, can I fit it in every week? I've got a lecture 3-5, then I will have a massage course 5.30-7, then salsa is 7.30-whenever, usually about 11/12 but you can leave early, then I'm working from 10pm-8am! Hmm...
Anyway. It was alright to begin with, dancing on your own and learning the steps. But then when we danced in pairs I found it all too intimate! I didn't know where to look and you were so close to your partner! I've never felt like that before. I felt like a little school girl discovering boys for the first time! I hope it wears off and gets easier.
It was just nice to be out with some friends.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Birthday/Baptism
Yey! It's me 21st Birthday! :D
Happy Birthday to dad too.
Baptism was great - will blog more tomorrow, or actually maybe that's today now we've gone passed midnight!
Happy Birthday to dad too.
Baptism was great - will blog more tomorrow, or actually maybe that's today now we've gone passed midnight!
Monday, January 23, 2006
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Noise Polution - Who is right?
This is a topic that is really irritating me at the moment.
When I was at home over Christmas I read an article in the Evening News about an old lady who'd had a young couple move in next to her. This was fine until they started playing their music loud until 3am. This meant that the old lady couldn't sleep and it became distressing.
I was disturbed that the article was suggesting that it was a clash between young and old that could maybe never be resolved. I felt that it was leaning towards the young couples' side and saying that that is the norm for today.
I want to rebel against that though. Playing your music and staying up until 3am (or whenever) should not be the norm and it certainly isn't good for you. Staying in bed til midday is appalling! Isn't the best sleep before midnight? I think the young couple should have respect for their neighbours and stop playing the music so loud after 11pm.
This last week or so I have felt so irrated by my housemates and their nocturnal activity. Unfortunately they do not understand my point of view. They argue that they like to play their music loudly at night. I say that I like to play mine in the morning but I don't because I know it will wake them. Where is the respect? Where is the thinking about other people? This is my 10th night in York, 7 of which have be disturbed due to loud music, loud TV and people talking like it's the middle of the day. This things are all between 11pm and 4am.
My housemates do not get up until midday, whereas I'll get up at 8ish. They miss soooo much of the beautiful day! But who is right? I am I right to be annoyed about being disturbed? Should I be changing my sleeping habits?
When I was at home over Christmas I read an article in the Evening News about an old lady who'd had a young couple move in next to her. This was fine until they started playing their music loud until 3am. This meant that the old lady couldn't sleep and it became distressing.
I was disturbed that the article was suggesting that it was a clash between young and old that could maybe never be resolved. I felt that it was leaning towards the young couples' side and saying that that is the norm for today.
I want to rebel against that though. Playing your music and staying up until 3am (or whenever) should not be the norm and it certainly isn't good for you. Staying in bed til midday is appalling! Isn't the best sleep before midnight? I think the young couple should have respect for their neighbours and stop playing the music so loud after 11pm.
This last week or so I have felt so irrated by my housemates and their nocturnal activity. Unfortunately they do not understand my point of view. They argue that they like to play their music loudly at night. I say that I like to play mine in the morning but I don't because I know it will wake them. Where is the respect? Where is the thinking about other people? This is my 10th night in York, 7 of which have be disturbed due to loud music, loud TV and people talking like it's the middle of the day. This things are all between 11pm and 4am.
My housemates do not get up until midday, whereas I'll get up at 8ish. They miss soooo much of the beautiful day! But who is right? I am I right to be annoyed about being disturbed? Should I be changing my sleeping habits?
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Tagging Again
7 Things I would like to do before I die (no particular order):
1. Own a house
2. Get married
3. Make people smile
4. Becomes wise
5. Have children
6. Be a little famous in some way
7. Tell people what I really think
7 Things I can't do (yet):
1. Stay up all night
2. Have as much confidence as I would like to have
3. Read my Bible every day
4. Drive
5. Rule the world
6. Do what I want to do
7. Know what I want to do!
7 Things that attract me to Blogging (in no particular order) :
1. Being able to keep up with people I don't see regularly.
2. Not having to say everything I've been doing 10 million times over.
3. Showing off photos.
4. Getting other peoples' comments and thoughts.
5. Being able to comment on others and therefore being a small part of their life
6. Keep up with what I've been doing!
7. It's nice to have somewhere to vent.
7 Things I say most often (in no particular order):
1. Indeed
2. Helen!
3. lol
4. aaaarrggghhhh!!
5. ;-)
6. cool
7. I'm tired
7 Books I love (no particular order):
1. Narnia
2. The books I've read by Frank Peretti
3. Harry Potter
4. Bible
5. Do blogs count?
6. Star girl
7. Live the Life
7 Movies I watch Over and Over:
I don't! So I've put TV programmes in no particular order
1. Casualty
2. Home and Away
3. Eastenders
4. Lost
5. Documentaries
6. My Parents are Aliens
7. Good films
7 People I want to join in too (you've been tagged!):
1. Emily
2. Lou
3. Laura
4. Paul Cracknell
5. Carl
6. Drummerboi
7. Rachel V
1. Own a house
2. Get married
3. Make people smile
4. Becomes wise
5. Have children
6. Be a little famous in some way
7. Tell people what I really think
7 Things I can't do (yet):
1. Stay up all night
2. Have as much confidence as I would like to have
3. Read my Bible every day
4. Drive
5. Rule the world
6. Do what I want to do
7. Know what I want to do!
7 Things that attract me to Blogging (in no particular order) :
1. Being able to keep up with people I don't see regularly.
2. Not having to say everything I've been doing 10 million times over.
3. Showing off photos.
4. Getting other peoples' comments and thoughts.
5. Being able to comment on others and therefore being a small part of their life
6. Keep up with what I've been doing!
7. It's nice to have somewhere to vent.
7 Things I say most often (in no particular order):
1. Indeed
2. Helen!
3. lol
4. aaaarrggghhhh!!
5. ;-)
6. cool
7. I'm tired
7 Books I love (no particular order):
1. Narnia
2. The books I've read by Frank Peretti
3. Harry Potter
4. Bible
5. Do blogs count?
6. Star girl
7. Live the Life
7 Movies I watch Over and Over:
I don't! So I've put TV programmes in no particular order
1. Casualty
2. Home and Away
3. Eastenders
4. Lost
5. Documentaries
6. My Parents are Aliens
7. Good films
7 People I want to join in too (you've been tagged!):
1. Emily
2. Lou
3. Laura
4. Paul Cracknell
5. Carl
6. Drummerboi
7. Rachel V
Monday, January 09, 2006
Back
Well it's back to York tomorrow and straight into house hunting.
Lord please find us the correct house - (that's cheap and has decent sized rooms and is 5-10 mins from college). Thank you.
Sigh
Nothing much else to say really.
Lord please find us the correct house - (that's cheap and has decent sized rooms and is 5-10 mins from college). Thank you.
Sigh
Nothing much else to say really.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Split
I'm finding it really hard living in two places.
There are times when I think, well it's only another year and a half I'll manage, and other times when I think it would be easier to stop uni and do something else.
It took me about a week to settle back into Norwich. Then having to deal with housemates and bills yesterday completely knocked me back again. It's a really odd feeling that's hard to descibe, but leaves me feeling so unsettled and restless. I like things to be sorted and I like to know what I'm doing.
Going back to uni is usually a quicker processes, although I'm a little uncertain about Jan. I think I'm going to go back on the 11th (in time for church) cuz Keith and NYFC people are all going to their conference, and everyone else will be back at school/work. I've got to be back for the 16th to work (one/two nights a week) but I don't have lectures again until the 30th. So it will be dead time with no reading list to prepare for semester two and I think that'll leave me feeling a little lost and uncomfortable.
So yeah, I'm not sure what to do. Tips/suggestions gratefully welcomed. Both for how to stop feeling so unsettled at home and back at uni.
I also find friendships hard as I feel like they're all only half hearted (sorry peeps). As I'm in two places, I only see people half the time and therefore feel like I don't have the close friends that I would like - or am not as close to my friends as I would like. So at times I feel very left out and alone. Not entirely sure how to remedy that either.
Most of the time I feel like I'm surviving, not living life to the full. That makes me sad, but I'm not quite sure what to do.
I thought I might do some voluntary work in York for two weeks in Jan, haven't got a clue what or where to look though!
I would say sorry to ramble, but I'm not ;-)
Thoughts v.v.v.v.welcome
There are times when I think, well it's only another year and a half I'll manage, and other times when I think it would be easier to stop uni and do something else.
It took me about a week to settle back into Norwich. Then having to deal with housemates and bills yesterday completely knocked me back again. It's a really odd feeling that's hard to descibe, but leaves me feeling so unsettled and restless. I like things to be sorted and I like to know what I'm doing.
Going back to uni is usually a quicker processes, although I'm a little uncertain about Jan. I think I'm going to go back on the 11th (in time for church) cuz Keith and NYFC people are all going to their conference, and everyone else will be back at school/work. I've got to be back for the 16th to work (one/two nights a week) but I don't have lectures again until the 30th. So it will be dead time with no reading list to prepare for semester two and I think that'll leave me feeling a little lost and uncomfortable.
So yeah, I'm not sure what to do. Tips/suggestions gratefully welcomed. Both for how to stop feeling so unsettled at home and back at uni.
I also find friendships hard as I feel like they're all only half hearted (sorry peeps). As I'm in two places, I only see people half the time and therefore feel like I don't have the close friends that I would like - or am not as close to my friends as I would like. So at times I feel very left out and alone. Not entirely sure how to remedy that either.
Most of the time I feel like I'm surviving, not living life to the full. That makes me sad, but I'm not quite sure what to do.
I thought I might do some voluntary work in York for two weeks in Jan, haven't got a clue what or where to look though!
I would say sorry to ramble, but I'm not ;-)
Thoughts v.v.v.v.welcome
Monday, December 19, 2005
It is finished
Whoooooo
No more essays until the 30th Jan!!!!!!!!
Praise the Lord that I finished them all!
I am also now home which is nice. Although I miss my computer.... :'( Although actually, I have my hard drive here with me! lol
In other news, the Reality Ball was amazing! I liked the setting up and clearing away best - but then I'm just strange ;) 135 young people crowded out Holy Trinity - and were all beautifully dressed. I need another excuse to wear my dress now
I am also no longer part of the Reality Core Team :( But that kinda makes sense since I'm only in Norwich half the time! Will be back by the end of May tho - so I shall find a new job then and in the mean time be prayer support and encouragement :D
Almost completed Christmas shopping in one day thanks to my Nectar vouchers :D Thank you TalkTalk for giving me 12,000 bonus points :D
I am very tired.
No more essays until the 30th Jan!!!!!!!!
Praise the Lord that I finished them all!
I am also now home which is nice. Although I miss my computer.... :'( Although actually, I have my hard drive here with me! lol
In other news, the Reality Ball was amazing! I liked the setting up and clearing away best - but then I'm just strange ;) 135 young people crowded out Holy Trinity - and were all beautifully dressed. I need another excuse to wear my dress now
I am also no longer part of the Reality Core Team :( But that kinda makes sense since I'm only in Norwich half the time! Will be back by the end of May tho - so I shall find a new job then and in the mean time be prayer support and encouragement :D
Almost completed Christmas shopping in one day thanks to my Nectar vouchers :D Thank you TalkTalk for giving me 12,000 bonus points :D
I am very tired.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Our God is an Awesome God
Our God is an Awesome God
He reigns, from heaven above
With wisdom, power and love
Our God is an Awesome God
Lord, even when we can't understand why things happen, thank you that you are still in control. Lord even when we can't see what's going to happen next or know what your plan is, thank you for still loving us and being with us.
Lord as humans, most of us hate change. Help us to deal with it and to keep trusting in you. Help us not to give up when things don't seem to be going the way we thought they would, and seek you in all we do.
Help us to move on in your name and keep glorifying you.
He reigns, from heaven above
With wisdom, power and love
Our God is an Awesome God
Lord, even when we can't understand why things happen, thank you that you are still in control. Lord even when we can't see what's going to happen next or know what your plan is, thank you for still loving us and being with us.
Lord as humans, most of us hate change. Help us to deal with it and to keep trusting in you. Help us not to give up when things don't seem to be going the way we thought they would, and seek you in all we do.
Help us to move on in your name and keep glorifying you.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
21st Celebration
I have provisionally booked for my 21st Birthday Celebration!
It will be on the 28th Jan at 7.30/8ish and all those who know me are very welcome.
I shall try and send out some invites at some point.
If you wish to know where it is before you get an invite just send me an email ;) I don't really want to post it on here!
Please come if you can make it. It's in a place that is a cafe by day so it will be very chilled and informal - space to hang, chat, catch up with people.
Looking forward to seeing you!
Secondly, but certainly not least, just a reminder that I shall be getting Baptised the following morning at NCBC, Duke Street at 10.45 - you must definitely come to that!
Cheers
It will be on the 28th Jan at 7.30/8ish and all those who know me are very welcome.
I shall try and send out some invites at some point.
If you wish to know where it is before you get an invite just send me an email ;) I don't really want to post it on here!
Please come if you can make it. It's in a place that is a cafe by day so it will be very chilled and informal - space to hang, chat, catch up with people.
Looking forward to seeing you!
Secondly, but certainly not least, just a reminder that I shall be getting Baptised the following morning at NCBC, Duke Street at 10.45 - you must definitely come to that!
Cheers
Friday, December 09, 2005
Send Tony Blair a Card
OOoooooo.... I've just noticed - the Make Poverty History banner on my site has changed and become all Christmassy offering us the chance to send Mr Blair a Christmas card to encourage him to Make Poverty History as his new year's resolution.
Clever
Clever
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Presentations - thank you
It's over!!!!
Two presentations and an essay due in today.
Thank you everyone for praying for me today and thank you Paul C for being a stuck record in my head way back from times at Fridays saying 'You can do it mate' and 'Well done mate' cuz other than relying on the big guy - it's your voice I hear encouraging me and believing in me - so thank you.
They did not go without hitchs. Big ones. But hey.
(4 more to go for next week......)
Two presentations and an essay due in today.
Thank you everyone for praying for me today and thank you Paul C for being a stuck record in my head way back from times at Fridays saying 'You can do it mate' and 'Well done mate' cuz other than relying on the big guy - it's your voice I hear encouraging me and believing in me - so thank you.
They did not go without hitchs. Big ones. But hey.
(4 more to go for next week......)
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
The Beatitudes - The Message Version
This doesn't really count as me doing Bible study as my friend pointed it out to me, but we just loved the way The Message phrased The Beatitudes as we were really able to relate to them.
Matt 5:3-12
3 "You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
Matt 5:3-12
3 "You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
4"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
5"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
6"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.
7"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being "carefull,' you find yourselves cared for.
8"You're blessed when you get your inside world--your mind and heart--put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
9"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.
10"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.
11"Not only that--count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. 12You can be glad when that happens--give a cheer, even!-for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.
They just make so much sense for today. It's difficult to remember it in everyday life, but it's nice to be reminded...
Monday, December 05, 2005
Reasons - moving to action
I've been looking a little at the theory of Solution-focused therapy. In short - focusing on solutions and using problem-free talk as opposed to just talking about your problems and searching for a reason. We can search for reasons forever and when (if?!) we find them, does that actually help us move on? Solution-focused therapy works on making the changes you want to make and moving you forward while you're looking for the reasons rather than waiting for them.
I don't know what I think about that.
I have discovered this week that my tendency to be a perfectionist relates to more of my life than I thought. I've been reading the Gale Dictionary of Psychology for an essay and it said a number of things that I relate to. I struggle to make decisions - this is because I fear making the wrong and not perfect decision so it's easier to make no decision. It takes me forever to do my uni work - "Due to their exacting precision, they take an excessive amount of time to perform tasks. Even small tasks become overwhelming, which leads to frustration, procrastination, and further anxiety caused by time constraints"
"Perfectionists also pay selective attention to their own achievements, criticizing themselves for mistakes or failures, and downplaying their successes. Overwhelmed by anxiety about their future performance, they are unable to enjoy successes."
It says that perfectionists can have memory loss or 'blank' before perfomances, it says that it causes headaches and depression. It can be an obstacle to reaching a goal.
So that's all very interesting - but how does that knowledge help me?
I don't know what I think about that.
I have discovered this week that my tendency to be a perfectionist relates to more of my life than I thought. I've been reading the Gale Dictionary of Psychology for an essay and it said a number of things that I relate to. I struggle to make decisions - this is because I fear making the wrong and not perfect decision so it's easier to make no decision. It takes me forever to do my uni work - "Due to their exacting precision, they take an excessive amount of time to perform tasks. Even small tasks become overwhelming, which leads to frustration, procrastination, and further anxiety caused by time constraints"
"Perfectionists also pay selective attention to their own achievements, criticizing themselves for mistakes or failures, and downplaying their successes. Overwhelmed by anxiety about their future performance, they are unable to enjoy successes."
It says that perfectionists can have memory loss or 'blank' before perfomances, it says that it causes headaches and depression. It can be an obstacle to reaching a goal.
So that's all very interesting - but how does that knowledge help me?
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Outreach/Church
I guess the questions is what is church for.
But specifically, I'm confused.
I go to a small church that's recently been planted in York. There are 9 people in it plus three children. Currently we meet on just Wednesdays.
This Sunday the couple that lead the church have invited us for dinner as a church social. I asked if I could bring my housemate and they said no. We're having a social for bringing non-Christian friends next Saturday. I explained that my housemate works on Saturdays so would be unable to come. They know that I've had some really good conversations with her recently, but still they say no.
So now I'm confused.
They say that as a church it's important for us to socialise together in a non 'church' setting. Fair enough - great, but why can't I bring my housemate?
I thought that it was of top priority to help people see and meet with Jesus? On my gap year, every event the church did had to have an element of outreach in it. Everything was accessible to non-Christians. So why are they saying no? It doesn't make sense to me.
So if I go out for lunch, housemate asks where I'm going, I tell her, she asks to come, and I say no sorry your not part of the church - how's that good? Or am I missing something?
But specifically, I'm confused.
I go to a small church that's recently been planted in York. There are 9 people in it plus three children. Currently we meet on just Wednesdays.
This Sunday the couple that lead the church have invited us for dinner as a church social. I asked if I could bring my housemate and they said no. We're having a social for bringing non-Christian friends next Saturday. I explained that my housemate works on Saturdays so would be unable to come. They know that I've had some really good conversations with her recently, but still they say no.
So now I'm confused.
They say that as a church it's important for us to socialise together in a non 'church' setting. Fair enough - great, but why can't I bring my housemate?
I thought that it was of top priority to help people see and meet with Jesus? On my gap year, every event the church did had to have an element of outreach in it. Everything was accessible to non-Christians. So why are they saying no? It doesn't make sense to me.
So if I go out for lunch, housemate asks where I'm going, I tell her, she asks to come, and I say no sorry your not part of the church - how's that good? Or am I missing something?
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