Beauty

1 Peter 3:3-4 (New Living Translation)

3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

Beauty. Something we long for, and yet something that is a battle. We are taught that it's what's on the inside that counts, and yet we all still long for beauty. We admire beautiful sunsets, the sea, creation. Media shows us beautiful people, and we admire theirs' and each others' beauty. So is it wrong to seek visual beauty, or is it only when the beauty of the person as a whole shines through, that the external beauty is really beautiful?

I look at some of my friends, and to me they are amazing and stunning. Their beauty shines through and it's hard to describe, but by the worlds' standards they are dull or even ugly. So is the quote, 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' true - or can we all see beauty if we look closely enough?

Why beauty? Is it shallow to seek beauty? Beauty comforts, beauty relaxes and refreshes. Beauty captures our imagination and sets us running wild and free.

Does beauty have to have a price? Can beauty thats not our own always make us feel good?

(This is both my thoughts and thoughts from 'Captivated' by John & stasi Eldredge)

Oh dear...

... I just got up from watching TV, picked up my glass, took it into the kitchen, and chucked the rest of the water in the bin...

... hmm...

testing

testing

---

Yahoo! Photos – NEW, now offering a quality print service from just 7p a photo.

Is there a right?

Our CU is 'multi-denominational'.

I've been briefly thinking about what this means in practice.

We don't have women speakers in case that offends people, we don't have free-flowing worship incase that offends people.

In most cases we err on the traditional/conservertive side of things. But in not offending them, are we offending others? What about the people that are used to free-flowing worship and prayer - are they not offended if we don't do that? What about the woman speaker?

So how does it work?

Home

Back to good old Norwich from flooded York

Smile

This is a great video that richybabexx and some mates made for the York St. John Christian Union Weekend Away. They're all based on the legend that is Dom Joly and Trigger Happy TV. Enjoy!!

Our God is bigger

Right, have texted some people about this already today, but ongoing prayers are appreciated.

Basically, as a CU we've got our mission week next week and at the end of the week we are having an evangelistic carol concert of sorts 'supposedly' in the chapel at uni.

Chaplincy became aware that we'd booked this event yesterday (all our room bookings have to go through them) and kicked up a fuss because they're having a carol concert on the thursday afternoon. There are usually two concerts, ours being more evangelistic and aimed at students, the chaplincy one being attended more by staff. This year the Dean has asked the chaplincy to make theirs more student orientated as well, so chaplincy see ours as in competition with theirs.

This is not our perspective at all, as we are not only going to chaplincy's concert, but actually helping take part in it. To us the events are completely different. Theirs is a carol concert, ours is an evangelistic events.

Anyway, this means that the chaplincy feel betrayed by us, so yesterday told us we couldn't have it, even saying that someone else was using the chapel. In visiting room bookings we discovered that this is not the case, and they let us book it.

Chaplincy discovered this, this morning, so our president went for a meeting, where she was greeted by chaplincy and room bookings saying that we cannot hold the event anywhere on campus. They've spoken to security, and student services and informed them that this event cannot take place on campus under any cirmcumstances. We are dumbstruck by this. Why are they doing this? All we want is to spread God's word and love. We're not bothered about who gets the most people to their service or whatever.

We were then thrown into crisis because we've got a speaker coming from down south who's paid for, we've got fliers and posters and cards printed and made etc etc. It's all planned for. So one of the presidents and I spent the rest of the morning running round York trying to find and alternative venue, feeling like Mary and Joseph trying to find and room and failing.

Our hopes were raised a little after speaking to the Students Union, and our UCCF rep, both saying that chaplincy have no right to ban us from booking a room, and that we can as students book rooms, but it's transpired since then that we can't. The event is still banned from campus.

What gets me is that it's not uni that we're fighting against (I don't think they'd be too bothered) it's chaplincy. Somehow a relationship that has been good until now has been almost destroyed. There's hurt, bitterness and confusion.

Therefore we are working hard to respond with love and how Jesus would. The devil hits where it hurts the most, and we're not letting him win. He wants us to respond out of hurt and lash back at chaplincy, but we won't. We pray for that relationship to be restored.

So yeah, please pray along those lines, and also that the right venue is found and God's will is done. This is also a distraction from Jesus and our mission. But praise the Lord for this amazing opportunity for His glory to shine!

Thank you

Thunderbird

Ever since I got the internet back, my RSS feeds don't seem to be received by Thunderbird.
All you guys have obviously written loads in your blogs, but every time I check for new messages thunderbird says there are no new messages.

Any thoughts?

Have tried unsuccessfully to search their knowledge base.

Back

The internet's back!

Thank you everyone for your prayer and support :D

Beyond Dead

And the internet is still dead.

We are now into our fourth week of complete switch off, and over three months of intermittent connection.

I hear you say why not change ISP, but unfortunately it appears that the problem is more likely to do with the line, therefore we are awaiting BT.

How much longer?!!!! I am going mad.

It interests me that it causes me such issues. For a while I beat myself up that I couldn't cope without the internet. I can cope, just I've used the internet as a good way of winding down and destressing - maybe I need to find an alternative.
On the internet I run my website, moderator two discussion forums, keep up with my college work through WebCT, research my dissertation, keep in touch with people, randomly search in google my random ponderings. There's so much to do!

I do miss it.

I'd really like it back. I guess what troubles me most is the frustration of not being able to solve the problem. Surely it's just one switch that needs flicking or one wire that needs reconnecting? Why can't they figure it out? Why do they have to keep passing the buck when the only one that suffers is me (and my housemates)?

Sigh

Dead

Well, my internet has been completely dead for over a week now :(

So that would explain my lack of posting.

And many other things

Look what you can buy for 49p

You gotta love charity shops

Thunderbird

I was just wondering if anyone else was having the same issues with RSS feeds on thunderbird?

For some reason, some of my feeds keep randomly stopping working, then a week or so later they'll work again.
Then at other times, I'll get all the posts of a blog sent to me again. It's just this minute happened to almost al l of my blogs! Now I have up to 4 copies of each post on some peoples' blogs!

I thought it might just be the people that have updated to Beta, but that's not the case now.

Murdery Mystery

This is my beautiful Angel and me at Pasta, Passion and Pistols :D


















I think I make a good bloke!

Morris Dancing

Look what my friend Sarah and I found in the centre of York (wonderful filming Sarah ;-))



MorrisDancing on Vimeo

My hand

I had a fight with a craft knife today.

In short I've got a deep cut in my hand, managed to cut some muscle but thankfully no tendons. Been stitched and sorted.

Please pray that it heals as good as new and quickly especially as in my job I need both hands!

At the moment my thumb has restricted movement and it hurts!!

Cheers

Clutter!

Well, this is my new room with my stuff in it.

Seriously need some shelves!

Here comes the bride...

Well, today is the big day!

Don't they look gorgeous!

Stand

I want to be a true woman of God.

I want to stand for God's Truth even if it will cost me my reputation or my friends.

I want my security to be in God and nothing else.

I want to be known as someone in whom people see God, so when I leave a room I am not remembered for anything other than God in me.

Shame it's easier said than done...

My New Room!!!

This is my new room at uni. As you can see it is currently uninhabited as I've not been in it yet! My housemate took the photos for me and sent them. It is almost finished. It's a loft conversion that's been done this summer. It's weird having a brandnew room that no one's used yet! This is the only time it will be tidy!

I have a great view of the chocolate factory out the back through the big window, and an interesting skylight the other side. I wonder if I can sit in it.... I'm also intrigued by the random bit of space next to the banister - think I'll have to put a suitcase or something there. Unfortunately the en-suite is not finished :-D

Avoidance

We had a visiting speaker at church today.
He spoke about the miraculous. There wasn't a great deal that I hadn't heard before, but I felt it was good as a church to hear it. He spoke about how we are often complacent about the miraculous (in western culture) and don't expect it to happen much. Or we go to the other extreme and say that if you're not healed there must be something wrong with your faith etc.

He talked about how God's put us, and we've put ourselves in the city centre where a lot of people are moving to now and where there is a lot of 'sin'. So basically saying we've got great potential to make a difference and show God's love and see the 'miraculous'.

He also picked out two passages in Acts.
Acts 2:42-47
'They joined with the other believers and devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, sharing in the Lord's Supper and in prayer.
A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together constantly and shared everything they had. They
sold their possessions and shared the proceeds with those in need. They worshipped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord's Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity - all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved.'
Acts 4:32-35
'All the believers were of one heart and mind, and they felt that what they owned was not their own; they shared everything they had. And the apostles gave powerful witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and God's great favour was upon them all. There was no poverty among them, because people who owned land or houses sold them and brought the money to the apostles to give to others in need.'

The speaker used these verses to encourage us to be like the 1st century church meeting together, being filled with the power of the Holy Spirit, seeing miraculous things and reaching out to the non-believers. What interested me was that the verses about selling all your things, sharing and giving the money to the poor was completely ignored. Part of me was pleased because I find that idea quite challenging and would rather not think about it, but I wondered greatly why it was missed out. Are we not supposed to do that, are we being picking and taking the bits we want? It just made me think.

Momentum

Well back from another week at the good old Bath and West Showground. Haven't got much time now, but it was a good week, marred by bad weather, car problems and illness, but we survived and God is amazing!
Here are some random pics of Sarah and Emma on the last day in the main venue.

Fair Trade Clothes

Whilst at Living Water, Jenny Skivington really challenged me about fair trade clothes.
I struggle with fair trade food on a uni budget, and most of the stuff that is fair trade I don't eat anyway!
Clothes are different though. It's just a matter of choosing to not just buy clothes because their cheap.

Whilst I was at Momentum I was challenged by this further with the 'Ethical Bedroom' in the market place run by Tearfund. They provided me with a directory of where I can buy fair trade stuff online.

I've still got a lot of thoughts around this. At the moment, it appears I can only buy fairly traded clothes online. There is one shop in York, but the clothes are not great. (but is that really a good enough excuse?). Other ponderings include the issue of is it still fair trade if it's in a sale? Tearfund gave me a free tshirt at Momentum. I challenged this and they said that the workers had been paid it was them that were choosing to give it for free. But surely if they can afford to give it for free - they can afford to charge less for the clothes normally? Puzzled.
Another thought is the whole, if we all stop buying clothes from places that aren't fair trade then the workers that get barely anything will end up with nothing... hmm...

In my brief investigating today I also discovered the Ethical Trading Initiative (ETI), I don't have enough knowledge or time to go into it now, but there is more here.
So that suggests a number of shops that are better to shop in - I don't think they're fair trade, but perhaps they're second best? What do people think?

Living Water

Wow.

Look - our tents are on the Network Norwich website!

The article can be read here

It was my first proper time at Living Water. I went a number of years ago as a day visitor before I was a Christian - I don't remember much about it other than chatting to people on the NYFC stall and playing pretend golf of something with a tree branch with Paul Cracknell!

This year I was working and camping in the youth venue. I camped with Paul and Hannah Farmer and some of our youth from NCBC. (our tents are above - mine being the bent one at the front). We had a great time together - even though our gazebo blew down and broke on Sat leaving us with no where to cook! In the end Fakenham took us in and cooked for us - whoo! We also had to sleep elsewhere that night as it was a washout!

As well as helping look out for our youth I worked in the youth cafe, and did prayer ministry. I really liked the cafe, it was fun - we had a laugh! I've never seen so many people eat pot noodles! I found prayer ministry really hard, but it was good to trust God. All in all it was wonderful to see God work powerfully in these young peoples' lives.

Devon

Had a lovely time at Croyde Bay with the family even though I was ill!

We stayed into two chalets and there were 10-12 of us staying together. Most of the time we just chilled and went body boarding - the beach and sea was lovely.

Can't think of much else to say!

Here are some pics:

New Wine

Wow I haven't posted for ages. Sorry guys! Haven't been near a computer much!

Straight after Reality I went to New Wine with my friend Sarah. We worked for a company called Veritasse selling artwork. It was a lot more hard work than I thought it would be, but it was a real insight into New Wine and the market place and Christian Art. It's so expensive and I couldn't justify buying it, but it's amazing and people are really moved by it and drawn closer to God.

I also bumped into some Norwich and Gateway Vineyard people which was really cool. I love getting to know people from other churches in Norwich better. It's great to see different insights into church and to learn from others. I also saw some people from St Mary's in Leamington Spa where I had my gap year. It was really cool to catch up with them. Lastly I also saw some friends that used to go to Dereham Rd and who's parents are still involved with NCBC. It's so amazing to meet up with people you haven't seen for a while.

One thing I realised this year is that New Wine/Soul Survivor etc can be quite exclusive. This is not a purposeful thing, and I don't know if there's much you can do about it, but being just Sarah and I felt quite weird. People come to New Wine in groups (mainly church groups) and they tend to stick in these groups - so when you're on your own it can be hard to slot in. Coming in a group is not a bad thing - it can be a time of tremendous growth for your church group, spending so much time together in this way. But it did feel quite lonely/exclusive going as a pair. Don't get me wrong - Sarah and I had a great time together, but I just felt a bit like a little lost fish in a big ocean of many unknown fish (for want of a better metaphor).

A good thing about New Wine was that I didn't know any of the songs. Normally I would find that irritating, but I realised it was good for me. So often I know all the songs and take it for granted that others do - but they blatently don't all the time! We were let by Trent Vineyard in Venue 2. Not knowing the songs was a really weird experience, standing amongst many people singing their hearts out and me silent. It did mean though that I paid more attention to what the words were saying and whether I actually wanted to say them.

Anothing I learnt is that the people up the front aren't always what you expect them to be down on the ground...

Reality

Wow is all I can say for now.

God is amazing

I am drenched and have a splitting headache and cycling in a massive thunder storm is entertaining to say the least.

But God is still amazing and has done fantastic things today from putting out fires to saving BBQs from rain.

I shall post more in the morning.

Blogging-Reality-Life!

Was chatting with Craig this evening about blogging and how sometimes you just never get round to doing it, and how sometimes, when you post something that takes you forever no one comments. Also, how do you know what to post and what's ok for people to read, and how easy is it to forget that everyone's reading this...

Well, it was the first day of Reality today and I was impressed. I've been a little disheartened that people haven't been signing up and it just felt a little on the empty side this morning - but people were engaging and God was definitely there. Then when we were out in Mousehold I realised that God was making an impact however many of us there were. 10 of us were litter picking and we had such a laugh - there was joy and there was love - thank you God! We met a number of people who are gonna come along to the BBQ on Wed which was cool. Also spent ages chatting to this guy who it would be wonderful if God could touch in an amazing way right now. Lord - let your will be done!

Also had the cafe this eve - it was a little on the quiet side but good. Some people walked in from being given flyers and good conversations were had.

So Lord, thank you for all that's happened and thank you for all that's gonna happen! Help us to do your will.

Life - well, what can I say. Off to New Wine on Sunday to work, then joining family in Devon for a few days, before coming back to Norwich to work at Living Water, then going to Momentum! Also hunting for a placement - think I may sign up with a helpline or do some mentoring. 3rd year is quite scary. Real life is only just round the corner - perhaps I'll go do a masters! The counselling guy at UEA is good.

Right, must get sleep before another 13hr day tomorrow!

Mis-type

How bizarre that you get this when you mis-type my blog...

The Flour Game

As it says on the Tin ;)

If I ruled the world...

Good at maths anyone?

Total amount of money I receive for living at uni: £3473

Total amount of rent for the year: £2958
Estimated total amount of household bills for the year: £250+ (my share)


So that leaves me with round about £250 for the year for food, books, travel, socialising.

Good job I've got paid work while I'm at uni, which should give me £1000 for the year, giving me a grand total of just over £100 a month.

Money is fun isn't it.

On the other side of things, I will be in more than £12,000 debt when I leave university. Those who know me, know that I'm good with money - potentially a little too tight. So what about those who aren't? And how about the new fees this year? If someone takes the full loan, and has to pay all the fees, that's over £7000 a year, totalling more than £21,000 with interest after their degree. Isn't that a wonderful start to life? Is it worth it?

I read somewhere that about 75% of females never pay back all of their student loan ever.

Then we get to houses and mortgages. In short, unless I get a shockingly high paid job, probably more than my parents put together, I just won't be able to afford it.

Don't even start me on credit cards. I refuse to have one. I rang my bank the other day. They informed me that I was due a review on my overdraft since I use it so much (I keep it in my ISA :D). So I was put through to someone else, who said, 'Would you like a graduate credit card?' - a) I'm not a graduate for another year, and b) I don't want one!!!!!! Why are they asking me if I want one because I use my overdraft lots? - surely that means I'm in debt and therefore it is stupid to give more reason for me to be in debt? Or do they think that because I'm in debt, I will quite happily get more in debt - and therefore they'll get more money?

If only I ruled the world...

REALITY

OK guys - now is the time to sign up!!

Reality is only just over a month away and we need YOU to make it happen.

Sign up NOW for just £20 for 5 days of teaching, worship and celebration and most importantly 5 afternoons of reaching out to our local community!

It is the first week of the summer holidays 24th-29th July - so there is no excuse not to come and work for your city of Norwich in spreading God's love.

It is such a majorly important thing to do. Just think of what it could be the start of.
The start of life changing relationships and work in your community that will go on for years to come, where hearts will be change and people will be made whole. It can be the development of vital work that is already going on!

Everyone from the age of 14 is welcome to come along (over 21s need to be referenced) - so spread the word.
Tell all your friends and get them to come along. Tell your youth leader that it's a week of events ready organised for them where they can bring their youth group.

So, get praying and get BOOKING now!!!!

Practice

How can I get listening/counselling practice in the short term?

Two Place

I hate living in two places.

What is the point in that?!

Home!

Well, I'm back in Norwich!

Can't seem to move round my bedroom much - I have far too much stuff.

Starting to get some random bits for summer sorted.
Looking at driving lessons - but they're shockingly priced :(
Tried to go to Durban with Soul Survivor but they're fully booked :(
I'd like to go abroad. Get some worldly experience.
Like to do something musical - am feeling very musical at the mo.

bleh

Trusting God

Why is trusting God so hard?

In about a weeks time I shall be back in Norwich, but I have very little plans for while I am there.
Some may think that's a great thing as I can just relax and enjoy myself, if I was a 'good' girl I could even use the time to get closer to God.

But I want to do something. I want to make the most of the time. I want to give my time and skills at the same time as learning more, developing and growing spiritually and in all things. I'd love to develop my listening/counselling skills as I need as much practice as possible to gain some confidence!

So far though, I have found very little.

Naturally I will be helping with Reality and I'm also planning to go to Momentum with some friends from uni. Hopefully I can help lead worship at church, and Paul has asked me to assist in youth church. But what else can I do?

I'm daily asking God to show me how he wants me to use my time, and telling him that with his help I'm up for anything he wants, but it's hard to trust isn't it. Hard to trust that he does have a plan even when I don't know what. What if I get to the end of the summer and still haven't done anything. Have I done what he wanted?

This then spreads to the rest of life. This is probably my last 'free' summer. This time next year I will have finished uni. Yes there are options of further study, but even then, where would I study? Would I come home? Stay here? Go somewhere else? If I get a job, where would it be? What on earth would it be?! I feel like I have no clue as to what I want to do, let alone what God wants. I know it's ok to not know. I know I've got to trust God, but I can't help but worry.

I soooo want to do what God wants because I know that what he plans is better than my own desires or will. But at the same time, I don't want my life or time to go to waste, and it's hard to trust that it won't.

Chocolate

Bit late, but I thought I'd post a pic of my brother's chocolate fountain and the fun we had on Sunday:



We had it to celebrate Emily getting baptised which was amazingly cool! It's fabdabulous to see God working in her :D I'm excited at what else he's got planned for her!

Da Vinci Code

Just been to see the film and I thoroughly enjoyed it!
Went a bit quick though, I was like, oh it's finished!

The first thing that stood out to me was how real it looked when Silas was whipping himself - I couldn't look it was horrible!

I'm still confused as to whether there's anything truth in the book at all, but whether there is or not it won't stop me believing in God and Jesus! It doesn't really bother me whether Jesus had a bloodline or not. So what if he had kids? It doesn't change what he did.

I was sad at the way it made Christianity look quite bad, but then I realised it's reflecting some truths from our past and we've made it look bad for ourselves.

Talked a bit with a friend today about the whole Jesus getting married bit. I don't think he did and I don't think he had children, but for me it doesn't really make much difference. My friend was saying that if he had got married it would have been recorded in the gospels because it would have been a significant thing. That's fair enough. In the film though, it seemed to me that if Jesus had got married and had children it would change the whole Christian faith, I'm not entirely sure how though (well, I can see that a lie could seriously rock things). So what if he got married? So what if he had kids. Can someone explain what's wrong with that? I'm happy to be re-educated.

I may write some more when my brain has filtered it all! I feel a bit naive about it all really.

Summer

Hmmm... what shall I do?

Fun on the buses

Well, it's been a fun week. As promised - here are some pics of me. Unfortunately I don't have full uniform yet, and they didn't have a jacket thingy small enough!



I'm not actually sure how much I'm allowed to say or whether I'm allowed to have my own opinion online! Lets just say, it's been interesting and it was free for most of last week! We now have conductors on the bus.

There are many views/letters/opinions etc on the local newspaper here as you can see, there are many opinions, most on the negative. To be honest, there is more to life than a bus. Yes it's not been perfect, and yes it's been extremely disruptive, but it will calm down. As human's we're not very good at change. But it's a permanent part of life.

Bleh

Bleh - me tired.

Please pray that I can make essays and work all fit together without being too tired.

Ooo... and that the bus customers aren't too horrible next week!

Drums

I want to play the drums.

Ftr Bus Job

Well, in less than 24 hours I have applied for and got a job!

I will be working for five weeks on one of these:



My job will be to show people how to use the touch screen ticket system. Should be entertaining to see how people pick it up.

More information can be found here and here.

Ooo. I've just read that when the Ftr bus approaches a traffic light it changes and goes green! Fantastic! And if you're wondering 'Ftr' stands for Future in text language - I had to be told.

XP!

I am sooo excited!!

Mark's given me his old upgrade of Windows XP!!

*Dances around*

Yes, I know I get excited over silly little things, but Mark - I shall love you for ever! (well, maybe till it goes out of date ;))

Finally, my computer will be dragged out of the deep dark depths of ME, and into the modern world of XP! Oh to have the uptodate version of media player, oh to be able to use the writing tool on MSN - the possibilities are endless ;)

YAY!

Frog - Human

It's ok people! My little friend has kissed me back into being a human again!

Fire!

Well, Julian was driving my bro, sis and I home after band practice this afternoon and we came across a burning car!

I found it highly entertaining that all the neighbours were out watching, but no one seemed to be doing anything. We went and chatted to one guy who explained that the taxi driver (who's car it was) had just got out and watched! So our neighbour had had to phone the fire brigade! Anyway, they toddled along and put the fire out.

A bit of excitement for the afternoon. Why are we all so nosey?

Oooo, and I also got turned into a frog.

I love Emily

Got this from the wonderfully amazing Emily!
I shall also post pics of Keith and my adventuous week sometime after tomorrow.


Two Names You Go By
1. Dorothy
2. Bikey
(Can I have sparkles too?)

Two things that scare you
1. Spiders
2. My mind

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. Computer (with internet)
2. God

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. Black snoopy pyjamas from H&M
2. Make-up (shock?!!)

Two of your favorite bands/ singers at the moment
1. Tre Shepherd (sp?)
2. Kelly Clarkson

Two Things You Want in a Relationship
1. Understanding
2. Unconditional positive regard (yeah ok, counselling term, but it covers everything!)

Two Things that Appeal to You
1. Sensing God's presence
2. Hugs

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Most things to do with the internet
2. Crafty stuff

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. Somewhere hot and relaxing
2. Somewhere full of excitement and adventure

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Be the Helen God sees
2. Rule the world

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. How to iron out my brain
2. Why I'm up doing this and not going to bed

Two people you haven't talked to in a while
1. Bek
2. Claire

Two Favorite Sports
1. Badminton
2. Swimming

Two things you did last night
1. Went to Fridays
2. Went to Keith's gig

Two T.V. shows you like to watch
1. Home & Away
2. Casualty

Two things you like about yourself:
1. My passion for learning about myself and God and growing
2. My hair (on a good day!)

Two things you ate today
1. Yorkshire puddings
2. bread

Two people you last talked to:
1. Mum
2. Dad

Pah!

I am greatly entertained, that not only have you not poked me to read my Bible, no one has responded to my last post (which was posted over a week ago!) telling you all off!!!

Update: I am now into Deuteronomy :-P

Telling Off

I just thought that I would tell you all off.

After this post, not one of you has poked me! No one has poked me!!

Anyway, with God's help for the last month or so I have read my Bible everyday (minus one) and I have read all of Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Job and most of Numbers. It is really exciting and I'm really enjoying it and learning what went on in those times and how God works. I'm reading the Bible in chronological order of the events it describes (roughly speaking!). I'm hoping it will continue to broaden my horizons and perspective of God.

I feel no pressure about reading it, like I have with all Bible reading materials. I just read as much as I can each night, and it doesn't matter whether that's one chapter or ten. If I miss a night, then nevermind - there is noooo pressure!

Thank you Lord!

Duck Duck Goose

Although this week has been quite stressful, today I successfully managed to make my whole class including the tutor sit on the floor in a circle and play duck duck goose! Although I hate the stress leading up to them, I quite enjoy presentations - I'd almost like to practice talking infront of people more and really get into the swing of it.

Today I made the decision to say yes to Bek about being a Christian Union small group leader next year! I am so excited now and she almost jumped out of her chair when I told her! I think it will challenge me and develop me and help my relationship with God - so yey.

Week of fun

Yey Keith's coming tomorrow! :D

We're going to Paul's wedding first, and then driving back to York for a week of fun!
I can't wait to just spend some time going out and about in Yorkshire (please keep the Sun up God!) and just generally chilling with Keith.

Unfortunately I have an essay due in and it's really hard. I'm trying my best to finish it before he comes, but I don't think that's gonna happen. Grr! So please pray for lots of concentration and productiveness!

Fountains Abbey

It was my friend Bek's birthday on Thursday and we went for a trip to Fountains Abbey in Yorkshire.

It was a gorgeous day!

Trust

Have you ever felt like God is teaching you so much at once that you're gonna explode?!

It's kind of an exciting thing, but scary and hard work at the same time.

The biggest thing he's teaching me is trust. To trust him. To trust his timing, to trust his will and his decisions and his plan and his control.

Timing is a big thing. I like to know what's happening and when. I liked to know when I'm next seeing people. But actually, it doesn't matter. God's plan is bigger than that, he's got it sorted. I don't need the rest of my life mapped out or just the next week or tomorrow - he's got it sorted so I don't need to know. In the same way, I need not worry about tomorrow. (Somewhere in Matt 6 or 7) In fact there's no need to worry about anything. God will sort things in his own time and in his own way not mine.

Another thing I'm learning is that God will work through anything and everything. I'm doing a Freedom Course with church and it's about being free in God and taking things to the cross (and leaving them!) and learning how to help others in that way. My friend and I were feeling quite pressured that we'd got to get something from this course and be changed in some way. But then we realised that the course is nothing. God doesn't need the course - it's just he may use it to bring stuff up, but if it doesn't, that won't stop him. If it wasn't for the course he'd just bring it up another way.

In the same way, if you miss church, or a big conference or prayer thingy, it doesn't mean that you'll miss out on something amazing God says, because if it's that amazing he'll tell you some other way. Therefore, for example, there's no need to run around like a headless chicken at Soul Survivor/Spring Harvest or equivilent, trying to get to every seminar, worrying that you may miss something important - because God will tell you things when he wants to. He will tell you what you need to know, when you need to know it.

There's more - I shall post more later

Module Results

Although I've known my results for a while, I've just received a letter in the post from uni congratulating me!

'At the School Assessment Panel held recently, marks for assignments for the above modules were confirmed, and the Panel was delighted to learn from the module director of your outstanding performance on these modules. It is with great pleasure therefore that I write to offer you personally my warmest congratulations on this significant achievement revealing a positive, thorough and conscientious approach to your degree studies.'

blah blah blah

Wow! That's quite cool. I'm quite impressed that they send you a letter. Would have liked a present too ;)

I have since heard that they very rarely give these out and it's generally to people that think are in line for getting a 1st!! And it goes in my file. Although they don't say that to us. Wow. Pressure! I never thought I could be capable of a 1st. I'll be happy with a 2.1 so yey.

In the Air

Well it's been a stressful week, with threats of being blacklisted, housemates leaving and general life! But hey, it's the weekend and now I almost have a 4 bed house to just the two of us! Plenty of space and plenty less disturbed nights!

God's teaching me a lot at the moment too. Especially about asking him about things and trusting him rather than asking everyone elses' opinion. Don't get me wrong, there is a time and a place for that, but I often fall into the trap of just asking everyone else and not thinking for myself. One reason being that it takes the responsibility off my shoulders and another being just that I haven't learnt to have confidence in my decisions and God.

I feel like a lot of things are up in the air and I'm being forced/encouraged to go to God, because he's the only one with the answer - so that's a good thing. I think I am being mature about things and I think that God is helping me to be insightful.

But I have to make decisions. I cannot sit on the fence and take the easy options to avoid being hurt. Life is full of risks, and we won't get anywhere or live very fullfilling lives if we don't take risks.

La la la hmmm....

CU website

We now have a CU website!!

It is up and running complete with a discussion forum - and one person has already turned up to CU having found out about it from the website! How cool is that?! Thank you Lord!

If you want to take a look... click here

Discernment

You know how you get really heated about things and annoyed with people and what they think and stuff? And then it calms down and drifts off into the past and you never think of it again?

Well that's what happened with this post.
But this evening I was talking to my church leader this evening and she was telling me that I have quite good discernment and gave me this situation as an example. Although they never told me this, my comments to them about all church socials needing to be outreach really hit home. They realised that I was right and that God was speaking to them through me.

So yey.

illness

I'm fed up of being ill.

Everyone's ill. For the past few weeks there has been only about 50% of my course turning up to lectures.

I think I've been not quite right for almost three weeks now. Started with feeling sick, hot and cold, then turned into a sticking cold, then got better, but went hot and cold again, and now I've been feeling constantly sick for the last few days.

It's rude I tell you!

Most annoyingly, I'm not ill ill. I just don't have the energy to go about life as enthusiasically. I hate feeling sick cuz the only time I don't feel sick is when I'm eating or sleeping - and I can't very well do that all day!

Just thought I'd have a rant.

Dancing

See we can dance!

Emily and the geese

Emily came to visit me this week. She had great fun feeding the geese :D





They were very tame geese that kept looking up at as longingly for bread



She also enjoyed chilling with my friends




Thank you for coming to stay with me Emily - you're great! :D

Heating Prayer Answered?

Not sure if this is a proper answer to prayer or what, but...

Woke up this morning to a freezing house, none of the radiators were working and there was no hot water. Fiddled with the boiler and followed the instructions, but there was no flame. So I rang our landlord.

I've been home an hour or so and have just been moaning to a friend about it, so she told me to go pray over the boiler. I ran down the stairs praying for God to send his fire (literally ) walked through the kitchen door and heard a 'wvrrooff' (or whatever noise flames make), looked at the boiler and saw the flame and felt it's warmth.

Then I noticed the note on the table from my landlord saying that he'd fixed it and it was probably the big winds we're having that caused it and to give him a ring if it happens again. So he's been in and sorted it while I've been singing to me music!!!

So it's kinda an answer - but whichever I thought it was cool to share

Ironic-ness

Entertainingly, I have been at a conference Fri eve and all yesterday that involved healing - and I've come away feeling worse than when I got there!

The conference was at Manchester Vineyard and was called Signs and Wonders with speakers Jeff and Jan Jansen.

I felt slightly ill before I went, but put it down to being tired and a distraction from the devil following on from being Baptised a week ago, and going to a conference that he certainly wouldn't like! But no, this morning I woke (after not much sleep) feeling achy and manky and ill. I hate being ill. It's just rude!

The conference was... interesting. God was definitely there, but it was a little too extreme and hyped for my liking. I didn't really understand what the guy was talking about and it felt more like him telling stories and jumping round the Bible than actually teaching us anything. I guess there will have been people there who got something from it though.

But the thing that annoyed me most was the way people get carried away and swept up in the hype rather than God. We had emotional music going up and down, the guy kept shouting into his microphone, he went round the room hitting people on the head - some of which fell over, others didn't. People had all the usual manifestations, but it just could have been done better. I watched Mike Pilivachi's 'How to pray for someone' clip on the God Channel this evening from last years Soul Survivor, and basically this guy yesterday was completely going against everything I've been taught.

It annoys me that people hype things up because I know that it puts so many people off receiving God's power through His Holy Spirit in this way because it freaks them out, or disgusts them or whatever. God's Holy Spirit is an amazingly powerful gift that is incredibly useful and refreshing. But unfortunately open to abuse. I had to remember a lot to let it just be God and me, cuz he can work through anything and with most things in life, we have to disregard the stuff that's us, and focus on the God stuff.

Some cool bits of the weekend were getting a vision of God holding me under this right arm at the edge of the room while we watched what was going on. He was loving it, and cheering everyone on like a funky rap geezer and we laughed together. It showed me that it's ok if other people are doing freaky stuff, cuz he's got me and he loves us all and he just enjoys all that we do for him.

Also we had a fire/prayer tunnel where we made a circle in pairs, then one at a time people went through it and we all layed hands on them and asked God to bless them and send his fire on them. I was a little apprehensive, but in blessing others God was blessing me, it was like wow. Then as soon as I started going through I couldn't stop crying and felt an amazing outpouring of God's love as up to 200 people prayed for me.

So yeah, in summary, people are silly but God is amazing!

Salsa

I have just been to 3hrs of salsa on the other side of York!

It took us about 20-30mins to cycle there and then it was a lot of work when we got there!

It was fun though - I really enjoyed it.

The question is, can I fit it in every week? I've got a lecture 3-5, then I will have a massage course 5.30-7, then salsa is 7.30-whenever, usually about 11/12 but you can leave early, then I'm working from 10pm-8am! Hmm...

Anyway. It was alright to begin with, dancing on your own and learning the steps. But then when we danced in pairs I found it all too intimate! I didn't know where to look and you were so close to your partner! I've never felt like that before. I felt like a little school girl discovering boys for the first time! I hope it wears off and gets easier.

It was just nice to be out with some friends.

Birthday/Baptism

Yey! It's me 21st Birthday! :D

Happy Birthday to dad too.

Baptism was great - will blog more tomorrow, or actually maybe that's today now we've gone passed midnight!

Baptism

Is it normal to be well scared?! Or perhaps nervously excited?

6 days to go...

Noise Polution - Who is right?

This is a topic that is really irritating me at the moment.

When I was at home over Christmas I read an article in the Evening News about an old lady who'd had a young couple move in next to her. This was fine until they started playing their music loud until 3am. This meant that the old lady couldn't sleep and it became distressing.

I was disturbed that the article was suggesting that it was a clash between young and old that could maybe never be resolved. I felt that it was leaning towards the young couples' side and saying that that is the norm for today.

I want to rebel against that though. Playing your music and staying up until 3am (or whenever) should not be the norm and it certainly isn't good for you. Staying in bed til midday is appalling! Isn't the best sleep before midnight? I think the young couple should have respect for their neighbours and stop playing the music so loud after 11pm.

This last week or so I have felt so irrated by my housemates and their nocturnal activity. Unfortunately they do not understand my point of view. They argue that they like to play their music loudly at night. I say that I like to play mine in the morning but I don't because I know it will wake them. Where is the respect? Where is the thinking about other people? This is my 10th night in York, 7 of which have be disturbed due to loud music, loud TV and people talking like it's the middle of the day. This things are all between 11pm and 4am.

My housemates do not get up until midday, whereas I'll get up at 8ish. They miss soooo much of the beautiful day! But who is right? I am I right to be annoyed about being disturbed? Should I be changing my sleeping habits?

Tagging Again

7 Things I would like to do before I die (no particular order):
1. Own a house
2. Get married
3. Make people smile
4. Becomes wise
5. Have children
6. Be a little famous in some way
7. Tell people what I really think

7 Things I can't do (yet):
1. Stay up all night
2. Have as much confidence as I would like to have
3. Read my Bible every day
4. Drive
5. Rule the world
6. Do what I want to do
7. Know what I want to do!

7 Things that attract me to Blogging (in no particular order) :
1. Being able to keep up with people I don't see regularly.
2. Not having to say everything I've been doing 10 million times over.
3. Showing off photos.
4. Getting other peoples' comments and thoughts.
5. Being able to comment on others and therefore being a small part of their life
6. Keep up with what I've been doing!
7. It's nice to have somewhere to vent.

7 Things I say most often (in no particular order):
1. Indeed
2. Helen!
3. lol
4. aaaarrggghhhh!!
5. ;-)
6. cool
7. I'm tired

7 Books I love (no particular order):
1. Narnia
2. The books I've read by Frank Peretti
3. Harry Potter
4. Bible
5. Do blogs count?
6. Star girl
7. Live the Life

7 Movies I watch Over and Over:
I don't! So I've put TV programmes in no particular order
1. Casualty
2. Home and Away
3. Eastenders
4. Lost
5. Documentaries
6. My Parents are Aliens
7. Good films

7 People I want to join in too (you've been tagged!):
1. Emily
2. Lou
3. Laura
4. Paul Cracknell
5. Carl
6. Drummerboi
7. Rachel V

Back

Well it's back to York tomorrow and straight into house hunting.

Lord please find us the correct house - (that's cheap and has decent sized rooms and is 5-10 mins from college). Thank you.

Sigh

Nothing much else to say really.

Split

I'm finding it really hard living in two places.

There are times when I think, well it's only another year and a half I'll manage, and other times when I think it would be easier to stop uni and do something else.

It took me about a week to settle back into Norwich. Then having to deal with housemates and bills yesterday completely knocked me back again. It's a really odd feeling that's hard to descibe, but leaves me feeling so unsettled and restless. I like things to be sorted and I like to know what I'm doing.

Going back to uni is usually a quicker processes, although I'm a little uncertain about Jan. I think I'm going to go back on the 11th (in time for church) cuz Keith and NYFC people are all going to their conference, and everyone else will be back at school/work. I've got to be back for the 16th to work (one/two nights a week) but I don't have lectures again until the 30th. So it will be dead time with no reading list to prepare for semester two and I think that'll leave me feeling a little lost and uncomfortable.

So yeah, I'm not sure what to do. Tips/suggestions gratefully welcomed. Both for how to stop feeling so unsettled at home and back at uni.

I also find friendships hard as I feel like they're all only half hearted (sorry peeps). As I'm in two places, I only see people half the time and therefore feel like I don't have the close friends that I would like - or am not as close to my friends as I would like. So at times I feel very left out and alone. Not entirely sure how to remedy that either.

Most of the time I feel like I'm surviving, not living life to the full. That makes me sad, but I'm not quite sure what to do.

I thought I might do some voluntary work in York for two weeks in Jan, haven't got a clue what or where to look though!

I would say sorry to ramble, but I'm not ;-)

Thoughts v.v.v.v.welcome

It is finished

Whoooooo

No more essays until the 30th Jan!!!!!!!!

Praise the Lord that I finished them all!

I am also now home which is nice. Although I miss my computer.... :'( Although actually, I have my hard drive here with me! lol

In other news, the Reality Ball was amazing! I liked the setting up and clearing away best - but then I'm just strange ;) 135 young people crowded out Holy Trinity - and were all beautifully dressed. I need another excuse to wear my dress now

I am also no longer part of the Reality Core Team :( But that kinda makes sense since I'm only in Norwich half the time! Will be back by the end of May tho - so I shall find a new job then and in the mean time be prayer support and encouragement :D

Almost completed Christmas shopping in one day thanks to my Nectar vouchers :D Thank you TalkTalk for giving me 12,000 bonus points :D

I am very tired.

Our God is an Awesome God

Our God is an Awesome God
He reigns, from heaven above
With wisdom, power and love
Our God is an Awesome God

Lord, even when we can't understand why things happen, thank you that you are still in control. Lord even when we can't see what's going to happen next or know what your plan is, thank you for still loving us and being with us.
Lord as humans, most of us hate change. Help us to deal with it and to keep trusting in you. Help us not to give up when things don't seem to be going the way we thought they would, and seek you in all we do.
Help us to move on in your name and keep glorifying you.

21st Celebration

I have provisionally booked for my 21st Birthday Celebration!

It will be on the 28th Jan at 7.30/8ish and all those who know me are very welcome.

I shall try and send out some invites at some point.

If you wish to know where it is before you get an invite just send me an email ;) I don't really want to post it on here!

Please come if you can make it. It's in a place that is a cafe by day so it will be very chilled and informal - space to hang, chat, catch up with people.

Looking forward to seeing you!

Secondly, but certainly not least, just a reminder that I shall be getting Baptised the following morning at NCBC, Duke Street at 10.45 - you must definitely come to that!

Cheers

Send Tony Blair a Card

OOoooooo.... I've just noticed - the Make Poverty History banner on my site has changed and become all Christmassy offering us the chance to send Mr Blair a Christmas card to encourage him to Make Poverty History as his new year's resolution.

Clever

Presentations - thank you

It's over!!!!

Two presentations and an essay due in today.

Thank you everyone for praying for me today and thank you Paul C for being a stuck record in my head way back from times at Fridays saying 'You can do it mate' and 'Well done mate' cuz other than relying on the big guy - it's your voice I hear encouraging me and believing in me - so thank you.

They did not go without hitchs. Big ones. But hey.

(4 more to go for next week......)

The Beatitudes - The Message Version

This doesn't really count as me doing Bible study as my friend pointed it out to me, but we just loved the way The Message phrased The Beatitudes as we were really able to relate to them.

Matt 5:3-12
³ "You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

⁴"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

⁵"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

⁶"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

⁷"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being "carefull,' you find yourselves cared for.

⁸"You're blessed when you get your inside world--your mind and heart--put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

⁹"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

¹⁰"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

¹¹"Not only that--count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. ¹²You can be glad when that happens--give a cheer, even!-for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

They just make so much sense for today. It's difficult to remember it in everyday life, but it's nice to be reminded...

Reasons - moving to action

I've been looking a little at the theory of Solution-focused therapy. In short - focusing on solutions and using problem-free talk as opposed to just talking about your problems and searching for a reason. We can search for reasons forever and when (if?!) we find them, does that actually help us move on? Solution-focused therapy works on making the changes you want to make and moving you forward while you're looking for the reasons rather than waiting for them.

I don't know what I think about that.

I have discovered this week that my tendency to be a perfectionist relates to more of my life than I thought. I've been reading the Gale Dictionary of Psychology for an essay and it said a number of things that I relate to. I struggle to make decisions - this is because I fear making the wrong and not perfect decision so it's easier to make no decision. It takes me forever to do my uni work - "Due to their exacting precision, they take an excessive amount of time to perform tasks. Even small tasks become overwhelming, which leads to frustration, procrastination, and further anxiety caused by time constraints"

"Perfectionists also pay selective attention to their own achievements, criticizing themselves for mistakes or failures, and downplaying their successes. Overwhelmed by anxiety about their future performance, they are unable to enjoy successes."

It says that perfectionists can have memory loss or 'blank' before perfomances, it says that it causes headaches and depression. It can be an obstacle to reaching a goal.

So that's all very interesting - but how does that knowledge help me?

Outreach/Church

I guess the questions is what is church for.

But specifically, I'm confused.

I go to a small church that's recently been planted in York. There are 9 people in it plus three children. Currently we meet on just Wednesdays.

This Sunday the couple that lead the church have invited us for dinner as a church social. I asked if I could bring my housemate and they said no. We're having a social for bringing non-Christian friends next Saturday. I explained that my housemate works on Saturdays so would be unable to come. They know that I've had some really good conversations with her recently, but still they say no.

So now I'm confused.

They say that as a church it's important for us to socialise together in a non 'church' setting. Fair enough - great, but why can't I bring my housemate?

I thought that it was of top priority to help people see and meet with Jesus? On my gap year, every event the church did had to have an element of outreach in it. Everything was accessible to non-Christians. So why are they saying no? It doesn't make sense to me.

So if I go out for lunch, housemate asks where I'm going, I tell her, she asks to come, and I say no sorry your not part of the church - how's that good? Or am I missing something?