This is a topic that is really irritating me at the moment.
When I was at home over Christmas I read an article in the Evening News about an old lady who'd had a young couple move in next to her. This was fine until they started playing their music loud until 3am. This meant that the old lady couldn't sleep and it became distressing.
I was disturbed that the article was suggesting that it was a clash between young and old that could maybe never be resolved. I felt that it was leaning towards the young couples' side and saying that that is the norm for today.
I want to rebel against that though. Playing your music and staying up until 3am (or whenever) should not be the norm and it certainly isn't good for you. Staying in bed til midday is appalling! Isn't the best sleep before midnight? I think the young couple should have respect for their neighbours and stop playing the music so loud after 11pm.
This last week or so I have felt so irrated by my housemates and their nocturnal activity. Unfortunately they do not understand my point of view. They argue that they like to play their music loudly at night. I say that I like to play mine in the morning but I don't because I know it will wake them. Where is the respect? Where is the thinking about other people? This is my 10th night in York, 7 of which have be disturbed due to loud music, loud TV and people talking like it's the middle of the day. This things are all between 11pm and 4am.
My housemates do not get up until midday, whereas I'll get up at 8ish. They miss soooo much of the beautiful day! But who is right? I am I right to be annoyed about being disturbed? Should I be changing my sleeping habits?
10 comments:
I think your right mate. Its actually illegal to be causing such a nuisance especially in the old womans case. If it was people renting the flat, I would have tried to find out who was renting the flat - ie company and lodged a formal complaint citing environmental health.
Its not in the interest for a landlord as I understand to have an environmental health officer make a request as it can be problematic in selling the house.
That all said, people are young, and parties on a not so regular basis should be tolerated. In my mind its questionable if its happening every other night.
Respect is something that is being lost in todays world, not just in the examples you state but at many levels. Your not wrong I think your right.
I don't think it's you Helen! Breaking your sleep, regularly, is unfair on you, and if you did the same to them, I'm sure they wouldn't like it either (unfortunately I'm not suggesting you do that though.... ;))
Usually the single biggest problem comes when neighbours do not communicate, or give up trying. So often just working out times for noise can sort things out eg we used to live next door to a woman who worked nights and there was a clash of when I wanted to play my electric drum kit and she wanted to sleep. Once we'd worked out when she needed to sleep, I was able to play, just a bit later.
In your case, I think a couple of nights of music a week would be OK, but everynight seems excessive. Do they miss lectures? or has this been a reading week?
Having said all that, my neighbours decided to start vacuuming their house at 11.30 last night, I may have to pop round....
With this particular situation the housemate and boyfriend don't go to uni and work evenings til 3/4am. But stay up when they're not working anyway.
So it's difficult cuz they come home full of energy and need to wind down.
But if it was me, I'd want to collapse in to bed and go straight to sleep! But I'm not them.
Ah i feel so sorry for people who's lives only consist of afternoon and night! I love mornings! It seems such a waste to sleep through them (although I am lucky in the fact that I don't need much sleep) I think your totally right here. I think your housemates need to realise that when you live with other people its part of the responsibility to respect their needs. You can't always just do what you want, or you won't end up having housemates for very long. Its horrible with something like that though cause you feel like your being a real kill-joy. But they are being inconsiderate and selfish. You have a right to sleep! I'm kinda shocked that they seem to be so unfeeling towards that!
Whether they're right or wrong about staying up till 4am, they don't have the right to encroach upon your routine by ruining your sleep.
This is one of my pet hates. It isn't difficult to have consideration for other people after midnight. It makes me so angry.
I think some people are unaware what is "loud". As you say an animated conversation can be loud, someone coming home from work can be loud and sometimes they can be unaware of it! When we lived in a flat in London and Imogen was a baby, she (and sometimes me as well) would have a nap in the afternoon. For some reason one afternoon, I was really tired and just looking forward to sleeping when the flat above us put their music on so loud that it would have been too loud for me in my flat. It made me cry out of frustration. I went to knock on their door after about half an hour and eventually someone came to the door. They had put the music on in the living room in order to listen to it in the shower (which was way, way away from the living room!) It hadn't even occurred to them that it was disturbing anyone else. I was pleased that they were reasonable but irritated that they were so unaware of the impact that living in close proximity has.
I guess what I'm saying is communication and compromise are the key. If you need to say to your house mates "Actually I keep my music down or limit the noise I make in the mornings for you" then you need to say it. They need to be aware that there is a balance to strike. If their music is too loud tell them "This is too loud but if you have it at level 7 then it isn't too bad while I'm in bed" because then at least they have an idea what is the right level. If they then ignore all that then I'm at a loss, I guess then you can have your music up louder and be less considerate so they realise the compromises you have been making. It's maybe only when the boot is on the other foot that they can see what is bothering you.
jsut on a practical note, get some earplugs from boots! then you can try and get some sleep while sorting out the situation...don't focus on who is right or wrong just try and express what you need and how they can help.
naomi
thanks, but I have earplugs, and they do help a little, but I can usually still hear with them in :(
I'm in between on this one... I think compromise needs to be made on both sides. If thats what they are used to doing then it can be pretty hard to change the routine. Same for you.
I often do my hoovering and stuff like that late at night when I can't sleep. Gives you something to do! Luckily I live in a detached house.
What annoys me is drunk people laving the clubs and wandering past the house very loudly, pulling bits off the car and throwing thier rubbish in to our drive way.
All comes down to respect I think. They need to respect everyone in the house and treat others how they want to be treated...
One of the compromises in our house is that Ben uses headphones for his music at night and I creep around in the morning. I'm sure they could get an inexpensive adaptor to enable two sets of headphones to be plugged in if they both want to listen to music.
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